


Genesis

by MashiarasDream



Series: Yours!verse [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alpha!Balthazar, Alpha!Cain, Alpha!Sam, Baby Deanie, Baby Mary, Grieving, M/M, Mpreg, Omega!Adam, Omega!Gabriel, Some angst, a sprinkle of smut, a/b/o dynamics, alpha!cas, alpha!michael, established relationships - Freeform, omega!dean, time stamp 10 for yours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 10:53:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7312123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MashiarasDream/pseuds/MashiarasDream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Moores make good on their threat and hire a lawyer to try to take Deanie away from Sam and the Novak pack. Their case has little chance in court, so it would probably be more annoying than threatening if it wasn’t for who the lawyer is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Genesis

**Author's Note:**

> This was the longest delay between chapters so far. I’m sorry. I seem to have accidentally acquired an active social life.  
> As always, thank you to my betareaders ViviTargaryen and WatchingOne. You are the best!

“Please. Please stop,” Dean begs while tossing and turning. “Cas! Cas, where are you? Make them stop. Don’t let them do this.”

They’ve already taken his daughter and now they want to take him. He tries to get away from the hands that grab him, tries to find his mate instead, to get that bit of freedom that he needs to wriggle away, but it’s a struggle, his sluggish body fighting him. He’s too big, too immovable, his muscles weakened this far along in the pregnancy.

“Cas,” he keeps whimpering for his mate because he knows nothing else to do.

“I’m here, Dean. Calm down. You’re safe. No one is hurting you. I’ve got you.”

The voice is dark and soothing and it’s close, so Dean’s instinct tells him to stop struggling. To let his body fall limp and let his mate find him instead of trying to get to him.

“Open your eyes, Dean. Come on. You’re safe. You just have to wake up.”

Dean is slow to come to. To figure out that the reason he can’t move is because the solid body of his mate is pressed up against him, stroking a soothing hand down his side and holding him close.

Something is missing, though. It takes a moment to remember. “Where’s Deanie?” Dean asks, voice hoarse as if he’s screamed in his sleep. Or cried. Both are an option with this nightmare.

“Asleep in his own bed. You shouldn’t allow him to fall asleep on your chest so often, it’s almost the only way to get him to sleep now. Besides, Sam needs to learn to do this on his own.” The tone is softly chiding but there’s also another kiss to his neck attached to the words.

Dean nods mutely, not awake enough to argue, and tries to chase the remnants of the nightmare. All he gets is the slimy feeling of hands touching him that he doesn’t want to be touched by, and of the pain of being ripped away from his mate and his pups. He shudders and buries deeper into Cas.

“Sam with him now?” he asks groggily.

“Yes. We’re done for the day,” Cas answers but doesn’t elaborate.

Dean knows better than to ask. Pam was worried when they came back. Is still worried, to tell the truth. She’s ordered bedrest and no stress. It’s laughable, really, with a brother who is deep in mourning, a nephew who is a fussy baby because all of his caretakers are so out of it, and a mate, who is dealing not only with the fear of losing his mate and unborn pups but also with a law case about said nephew.

Not that Dean knows anything about that. Because Cas refuses to stress Dean out more, and Sam, uber-protective knothead that he is, agrees. And Dean can’t even be too upset with his brother, because where Sam’s not even been functioning beyond the basics after Jess died, the law case gives him a purpose at least. He puts to use his lawyer knowledge and works with Ellen and Cas. Gets up in the mornings and takes regular showers and everything.

Dean just wishes it would translate to the rest of his life as well. To taking care of his pup’s emotional needs as well as his physical ones. But Sam’s face is hard and closed up most days and there’s a reason why Dean’s the one who can calm the little critter down the fastest. And the reason is not that he’s an Omega.

Dean rubs a hand over his face, chasing away the remnants of the dream instead of chasing after them now that he’s a bit more awake. “Where’s Mary? I remember distinctly that she was racing her toy cars in here.”

“The fact that you managed to fall asleep during that racket is actually quite impressive,” Cas says and winds a hand around Dean’s belly.

“Hey, Deanie can do it, I can do it. We are namesakes for a reason. Though I guess I shouldn’t fall asleep while watching the kids.” He sighs. “That was careless and dangerous. I’m sorry, Cas.”

“It’s okay, Dean. We’re all exhausted, it happens.” Cas’ smile does little to cover his scent of worry. “What did you dream this time?”

The slimy feeling is still there, not even Cas’ hands on his skin enough to wash it away. Dean shakes his head. “I don’t remember. I’d tell you if I did.” Even though whenever Dean does, Cas suffers right alongside Dean. And it’s not like Cas doesn’t have enough nightmares of his own about losing them. Dean doesn’t need to add to that. “You coming to the appointment tomorrow morning?” he asks instead. “I promise it won’t take too long. But there’s an ultrasound scheduled.”

He tries to make it sound casual, to cover up his own worry with the bribe of Cas getting to see his pups. It works, too.

“Yes, please,” Cas mumbles into Dean’s skin. “I can make time for it.”

“Great. Thanks, Cas,” Dean smiles and presses a kiss into Cas’ neck. He’s got too many appointments with Pam for Cas to be there for each of them. But Cas can never resist the ultrasound. He wants to see it with his own eyes, that the pups are still alive and well. And every time he does, he lays off of Dean for a bit until his worry returns full force.

 

“Look at that, Rob’s being really photogenic today. Yeah, just like that, turn a little more, sweetheart,” Pamela coaxes the twins into posing for the ultrasound. Her voice is soft and her hands on Dean’s belly when she tries to get Rob to move are warm and sure, making up for the cold gel. “There you go, beautiful. Well done.”

Dean chuckles, adrenaline about seeing the pups on the screen washing away his exhaustion for the moment. “Hope he’s going to listen that well after he’s born.”

“Don’t get your hopes up yet,” Pamela laughs. “Though I got to say they are more cooperative than Mary’s ever been.”

Dean smiles and shrugs. “She’s stubborn, but we know who she got that from. And she’s a good kid.”

“I never said she wasn’t, Dean. And with two little brothers, she’s going to need all the stubborn she can get.” Pamela clicks the print button and the machine starts spitting out a second ultrasound photo to go with the one that shows Ben. Then she shuts off the machine and turns back to them, a relieved smile on her face. “I’m happy to report that the pups are doing really, really well. Ben is a bit bigger than Rob, but both of their heartbeats are very strong.”

“And we’re past the point of – they have a chance now, yes?” Cas asks the question with a quiver in his voice.

“Yes, Cas,” Pamela answers patiently, even though her expression says _you’re a doctor, Cas, you already know this_. “It’s week 28. They have a very good chance even if the worst happens. But for now, let’s hope that the worst is not coming to pass. The pups are healthy and developing well. And Omega Daddy is doing good, too. Tired and frustrated and bored out of his mind, I think,” she adds before Dean can even say anything, “but physically, you’re doing fine. Everything looks completely normal, there is no sign of tearing, and that’s honestly much better than I expected at this point. So keeping doing whatever it is you’re doing because it’s working.”

Dean replies with a grumpy, “Well, great, just make it even clearer that I gotta stay under everyone’s thumb,” even while the relief washes over him.

Cas squeezes his hand and kisses his knuckles, his relief palpable in the air as well. “I love you,” he murmurs.

“Yeah, yeah, sappy Alpha,” Dean grumbles, “you don’t have to convince me, I’m not gonna make a fuss.”

The snarky tone is his only defense against the lump in his throat. It seems like a miracle that they’ve made it here at all, to this point where the twins will have a chance, should they be born prematurely. Dean’s going to definitely do everything he can to keep them on this path.

Pamela smiles warmly at them and takes a tissue to wipe the gel off of Dean’s stomach. “Alright. You go home do just that. We’re done here. Oh,” her voice suddenly turns a shade darker, “and could you please ask Sam to bring Deanie by for his check-up?” She sounds earnest but the second she notices how Dean and Cas are mirroring her worry back at her, she smiles. “Don’t. Don’t worry about something else on top of what you’re worrying about already. Check-ups are routine for preemies.”

It sounds comforting, but when Dean tries to remember whether Mary had this many check-ups after she was born, he doesn’t think so.

Pam turns to Dean. She lays a hand on his arm. “I know how much he means to you. And your scent is spiking through the roof right now. So listen to me, there’s nothing to worry about. Deanie is not sick. We’re just doing a few more routine checks because he had a stressful birth. Okay?”

Dean takes a deep breath, because he hadn’t even noticed how shallow and rapid his breathing had become. God, he’s been worrying too much for too long if he’s not even aware of it anymore. “No worrying. Worrying not good for the twins. Got it,” he says.

“Or for you, actually. Dean, are you sure you don’t want me to give you a prescription for something to help you rest? There are herbal medicines that you are allowed to take.”

Dean shakes his head. “Can’t. Gotta be able to wake up in case something is wrong with the pups.”

Pam shakes her head in frustration. “Deanie has Sam and Mary has Cas. They’re Alphas, yes, but they’re the pups’ fathers and they can do their part. You don’t have to be the one who’s responsible for everything.”

“They do their part,” Dean says and knows he’s evading her.

She knows it, too, but for some reason, she lets it slide. “Go home, Dean. Rest. I’ll see you next week. And I don’t want to see any black rings under your eyes then, understood?”

 

“Are we this bad?” Cas asks once they’re in the car. “Sam and I?”

“Can we go out to the lake? Or to the café? Just for a few minutes? Or do you have to get back immediately?” Dean asks.

“I should get back,” Cas answers hesitantly, but still turns at the next traffic light and takes the route towards the lake.

“Thank you. We don’t have to stay long. Want to get back to the pups anyway. But I need a bit of fresh air.”

It’s weird really, how little he feels like celebrating. It’s a huge milestone, one that they’ve been working towards for months, the day when Pam would tell them that their pups will have a chance. A _good_ chance, even. But now Dean feels exhausted and hollow, no joy wanting to crop up at the thought of doing this for another two months. He guesses that it doesn’t help that last time the dangerous part was the birth, not the pregnancy itself.

It’s quiet out at the lake, though they pass a few people taking a stroll with their dogs. They greet them politely but move on quickly. There’s a secluded little beach that they’ve found, complete with a few rocks to sit on. It’s not comfortable, but it is nice and quiet.

“So, are we this bad?” Cas repeats as soon as they’re seated. “So bad that we can’t be trusted with the pups?”

“It’s not that. You have your hands full,” Dean says. “What with the law case and everything. I can’t help with that. But I can do this.”

“Dean.”

“I’m not running myself ragged, I swear,” Dean insists. “I love the little bugs. And this is – this is the one burden I can take from you. The one thing where I can actually still be useful.” It comes out a little more honest than he had planned.

Cas mulls that over for the longest time before he finally turns back to Dean. “Is it something I did?”

“What?”

“That makes you define your value like this again. Was it something I did? Cause if it was, I’m taking it back.”

“Cas,” Dean is at a loss for words.

“Is that what you’ve been doing? Trying to prove yourself useful every day only to dream at night that it’s not enough?”

There’s the thick tang of autumn in the air suddenly, like cold rain falling on dead leaves. It’s almost despair. Because something that has once seemed hopeful has failed. Dean’s face burns with shame. He turns his head away from Cas. “The nightmares have nothing to do with this,” he mumbles. It’s probably a lie. But he can’t be certain. So it’ll have to pass.

“Dean, don’t. Please,” Cas begs.

Because the silence has claimed so much of them already, every piece of communication hard won. If they start lying to each other, there’ll be almost nothing left.

“Why was Ellen so freaked out the other day?” Dean asks instead of answering what he has no answer for. But he’s stumbled upon her in the morning and she had been wide-eyed and frazzled and so unlike the resolute Beta he knows that it’s frightened him. He’d wanted to ask Cas back then, but he hadn’t seen him all day, Cas only coming to bed after Dean had already been asleep.

It’s Cas’ turn to look away. His scent gets distinctly darker.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Dean says softly. It’s their rule these days, to shield Dean from the worst of it, however little he likes it. The problem this time is that Dean already knows the worst is there. He’s already worried.

“We got a letter. From the attorneys for the other side,” Cas says and hunches his shoulders in on himself, as if just talking about the letter makes him feel like a target.

“Okay. What did it say?” Dean asks.

“It’s not even -,” Cas shakes his head and starts anew. “We don’t get letters from them usually. We get letters from the court. The other party has never contacted us directly before. Now we know why.”

“Okay? Why?” Dean asks when nothing else is forthcoming.

“Because the letter was signed by Michael Novak, attorney at law,” Cas says flatly.

Dean’s eyes turn wide. “You’re kidding me.”

“I wish I was,” Cas turns back to Dean with a helpless shrug. “I really wish I was.”

“And it is – Michael? That Michael? As in – your _brother_ Michael?” Dean asks because he can’t believe it.

“Yes,” Cas nods. “I’ve spent the last two days researching the validity of it. It’s true. Michael is apparently not a senior partner at his company, so his name didn’t show up before. But it is undoubtedly him who’ll be representing the Moores.”

“Can he do that?” Dean asks incredulously.

“Yes,” Cas nods again. “We’ve gone over that, too. I have no handhold to demand him being exchanged against another lawyer under California law. As long as he doesn’t come closer than 100 feet to me – or you and Mary for that matter – unless in a court house, I can’t do anything against this.”

 “Fuck,” Dean curses heartily.

“Agreed,” Cas says. “Especially since,” he swallows heavily, “the letter was handwritten, Dean. Michael’s made it clear that this is personal for him.”

And okay, that’s a whole new mountain of mind fuck. It curls Dean’s blood. Because that can’t be good. “And there’s really nothing you can do?”

Cas shakes his head. “Sam’s not technically my blood. Neither is Deanie.”

“But they’re pack,” Dean clings to the one thing that works in their favor here. Michael can’t come on pack grounds, it’s stated very clearly in the sentence.

“Yes, and as my pack, I’ll keep them safe. But there is no way to make a restraining order work for a whole pack, Dean. It works for you and me and our pups, but that’s it.”

“I’m included?” Dean asks to be sure, even though it doesn’t lessen the feeling of _danger_ that the news has brought.

“Yes,” Cas nods. “He has to stay away from my mate and heirs. That was part of the sentence. And he can’t claim that he doesn’t know you’re my family, not while being the lawyer for the Moores.”

Dean nods slowly, letting it all sink in. “Will he keep to that?”

“Yes,” Cas’ voice holds no doubt. “He is not a nice person, but he’s not Luci. He’s a stickler for rules. He’ll operate within the law.”

“Why doesn’t that make me feel better?” Dean grimaces.

“Because we both know that the law can be stretched,” Cas answers with a sigh. “I don’t like any of this any better than you do, Dean.”

“Did a pretty good job at keeping your scent from flipping out, though,” Dean mutters. And that gives him another thought. “Rhetorical question,” he looks up sharply. “Were you planning on telling me about this? If I hadn’t asked? Cause you have known for two days.”

He tries to keep the bitterness out of his voice but he’s not sure it works. His skin has become thin and brittle lately, he bleeds easily.

Cas watches him warily for a moment, like Dean is a volcano that might erupt. But then he nods abruptly. He holds out his arm for Dean to take it, wrist up so that he can scent that what he says is not a lie. “Yes, Dean, I would have told you anyway.”

“But?” Dean asks because even though there is no lie, the sentence feels unfinished.

“But I wish I wouldn’t have to.” It’s Cas’ turn to grimace. “I wish I could spare you all of this. I wish I could spare you what comes next. But this is Michael and it’s personal for him and we need to take this seriously.”

Dean’ stomach sinks when he gets the implication behind the words. For a moment, the feeling of dread threatens to drown him. But then, how much worse can Cas really make it? It’s not like he’s had much freedom lately anyway. So he looks up grimly and asks, “What do you need me to do?”

For a few heartbeats, Cas stares at him. Like he can’t believe it. Like he expected this to be harder. He squeezes Dean’s hand and Dean doesn’t draw away.

“Thank you,” Cas whispers.

Dean shakes his head unwillingly. He’s not in the mood to be thanked. “Just tell me, Cas.”

Cas nods and says matter-of-factly, “Don’t leave the house on your own. Take someone with you. Preferably someone who can fight. Don’t talk to strangers. Not even in your online classes. Don’t answer the phone if you don’t know the number. Stay in our safe bubble until we’ve got a better grip on this.”

It’s not worse than expected. But that doesn’t make it any more fun. “It’ll change again one day, right? You won’t keep me in the house forever?” And yeah, it’s pretty shitty that he feels the need to ask. But he needs the answer before he agrees to this.

Cas grips Dean’s hands tighter, anxiety washing over him. He doesn’t quite manage to look Dean in the eye when he whispers, “I won’t do it now, either, if you refuse.”

And that is the crux of it, isn’t it? Rebelling against this would be so much easier if Cas forced him. But he’s not doing that. He’s worried and upset and he’s asking. Dean has no resistance against that. Cas will accept it if Dean doesn’t want to do this. And then proceed to literally worry himself sick.

“Can I find my own chaperone at least or does it have to be Meg?” Dean asks.

“Not Gabriel,” Cas answers. “We can talk about anyone else.”

And Dean hasn’t even thought about that yet. “Him, too, huh? He’s not going to go as easily as me, you know that, right?”

Cas nods tightly.

“Ah, fuck,” Dean sighs and rubs a hand over his eyes. “Sorry about that.”

“Sorry about what?” Cas asks flabbergasted.

Dean shrugs, but the words still taste acidic on his tongue. “That we’re so much trouble. That you got to keep us safe. Gosh, it sucks to always be the weakest link.”

“No!” Cas shakes his head and pulls at his hand insistently. “Dean, that’s not what it’s about. It’s not cause you and Gabriel are Omegas. It’s because you’re _my_ family. You are the people that I can’t afford to lose and he knows it. Michael wants to break _me_. _I’m_ the weakest link.”

Cas’ anguish is so palpable in the air that it doesn’t even make a difference whether Dean believes him or not. He pulls him into an awkward, one armed hug, the position too uncomfortable to relax but still better than not touching. Cas buries his nose into Dean’s neck and the scent of distress lessens, even if it doesn’t disappear.

When the strain gets too much, Cas pulls back with a sigh.

“So, why now?” Dean asks. “He hasn’t bothered us in years. Why now? Why this?”

Cas shrugs. “Opportunity? He’s not had a spy anymore since he threw Anna out after we got mated. This is his first chance to meddle in a long time.”

“I’m sorry,” Dean says again because it’s his brother and so by extension him who gave Michael the chance to weasel his way back into Cas’ life.

“Please, don’t, Dean,” Cas answers and sounds very tired. “Please just – don’t.”

So Dean doesn’t say anything else.

They sit in silence and stare out over the water for a while.

“You have to let me share your burden, too. It’s not enough that you help to carry mine.” Cas says it to the water. He looks utterly exhausted.

There’s a spark of fear in Dean’s gut at the sight. He’s been trying so hard to keep it together. Cas is taking on so much more of their responsibilities anyway.

“They’ve taken Mary and they’re trying to rip me away from you. No idea who _they_ are. But their hands are all over me and they’re dragging me away. That’s what I dream about,” Dean says.

Cas looks up at him, eyes wide.

“I’m not shutting you out, Cas. I’m just trying to help.”

“So the nightmare’s always the same?”

“Yeah,” Dean nods, “pretty much.” He smiles slightly. “I can’t bear to lose you, either, little Alpha.”

Cas smiles at the pet name, a grateful smile like he’s been praised for doing something right when he didn’t expect it. So Dean reaches out to him, wraps his hand around Cas’ again.

“Always yours, Cas. Always.”

 

When they come home, Dean’s whole body hurts. Sitting cramped on a log for an elongated period of time is nothing he should be doing. Still, no rest for the wicked, so he goes to find the pups first. He finds Mary in the nursery with Charlie.

“Hey, monkey,” he greets his daughter who squeals at him.

“ _Dada_!”

“Yeah, that’s me,” he chuckles. “You playing with Aunt Charlie?”

“Sha-ee!”

“Exactly. And how’s Aunt Charlie doing with the – is that the fire department?”

“Yep,” Charlie nods. “We have prevented a major catastrophe by keeping this big tower of toy blocks from burning down and laying waste to the whole left side of the city.”

“Wow,” Dean makes sufficiently impressed noises while his daughter nods enthusiastically and starts driving her toy truck around the toy block structures. Several of them look crumpled already where he guesses the fire department took a shortcut that brought down the house. Literally.

“How are you?” Charlie asks him, masking her worry only enough that Mary won’t notice.

“Fine,” Dean grunts. “You wanna be my chaperone for the next few months?”

“What?”

“I’m on lockdown,” Dean sighs. “Where’s Deanie?”

“With Sam, actually,” Charlie says.

“That’s something I guess,” Dean says and lets himself fall into the rocking chair.

Charlie bites her lip and for a moment, she looks utterly worried. But then she smiles and gets the police car to chase after Mary’s fire truck. She mimes sirens which prompts Mary to  laugh and smash her truck right into the big tower.

There is a moment where you only hear the wood blocks fall, then there’s loud wailing.

“And there go your attempts at saving the city,” Dean says drily and lets himself slide down out of the rocking chair to the ground to take his screaming daughter into his arms. “It’s okay, little one, it’s okay,” he soothes her while she’s fisting her hands into his shirt, crying so hard that the snot gets smeared all over him. He rubs a soothing hand up and down her back. “The city needed a new tower anyway, sunshine, we can build it together tomorrow.”

He goes over to talking nonsense and little endearments after that because it doesn’t make much sense to be coherent when his daughter is not. When she finally calms down enough that he thinks he’s going to get through to her, he pokes her softly and says, “Hey, what do you say, want to see whether we find some yummie juice in the kitchen? And maybe find Alpha Daddy there as well?”

The mention of juice only gets him a hiccup but the mention of Alpha Daddy makes her snap her mouth shut and look at him with big watery eyes.

“Want to see where Alpha Daddy is?”

She nods solemnly, tears already drying on her face.

“Okay. But we got to clean you up a bit before. You up for Aunt Charlie helping you with that?”

Instead of an answer, Mary stretches her arms out towards Charlie, who gets up and swoops the toddler up in one swift gesture.

“Thanks,” Dean mouths at her.

She gives him a thumbs up and then turns to Mary, “A little bit of water will make this easier. Let’s get a washcloth, shall we, young padawan?”

Dean is not really sure what he’s feeling as he watches them go. He’s grateful that Mary, while being a headstrong child, is not shy and lets everyone in the house carry her and help her. Because Cas is not going to be happy if he catches Dean carrying their decidedly already heavy daughter. But in moments like these, Dean wants to be the one who’s cleaning his daughter’s face. Who is taking her to the kitchen. In his memory, Sammy was never further than a few steps away from him when he was a toddler. Dean sighs. It’s not an argument anyone in the house is going to take seriously. In the opposite, they’re going to start lecturing him on how it was unhealthy that he was Sam’s guardian in the first place.

Mary is babbling excitedly and trying to wipe her own face when Dean has managed to follow them to the bathroom. Charlie is good with her, patient but insistent, and she manages to get her cleaned up without there being any new tears shed.

She grins at Dean when they’re done. “Meeting your approval, Daddy?”

“You know that you do, Charles,” Dean smiles.

“Or I wouldn’t be carrying your daughter, I’m aware,” Charlie laughs and boops Mary on the nose, who squeals in delight.

 

Cas is not in the kitchen. Neither is Sam.

“Let’s get you some lunch, little monkey, okay?” Dean says while Charlie deposits Mary in the high chair. “It’s Deanie’s feeding time, too,” he worries.

“Sam knows this,” Charlie replies.

“I hope so,” Dean grouses. He hates that he doesn’t trust Sam with his own child but Sam gets – single-minded. Buries himself in this feud between the packs and forgets all about everything else. Dean nags him about it, obviously, and sometimes it works, but other times… Sam is not their Dad, he doesn’t drink his sorrows away, but there are times when he gets the same faraway look that John had when they were kids, and Dean knows enough about that not to entrust a baby to anyone with that look.

“Should I go check on them?” Charlie asks.

The image of John’s rough hands on Sam’s little body, holding him awkwardly, almost dropping him, makes Dean clench his teeth. But that’s memories, it isn’t now. Sam needs to learn how to be a Dad and Dean needs to trust him that he can actually do it. He puts Mary’s lunch in the microwave to warm it up. “We’ll give him another ten minutes.”

“Deeee-eeee,” Mary pouts at him. “Dee-ee here.”

“Yeah, I agree, Deanie should be here,” Dean smiles and ruffles her hair. “It’s funner to eat when everyone’s together, isn’t it?”

She grabs her mug as soon as he puts it in front of her. He helps her hold it steady and she gulps her watered-down juice. He chuckles. “I swear you got your table manners from me, you’re devouring everything.”

“Uffs,” is her answer which Dean takes as agreement.

Charlie sits down with him when he gets Mary’s food. She devours that as well, seeing that she is in a good mood and obviously has forgotten for now that he’s promised her to look for Alpha-Daddy. He’s glad about that since he’s not sure they would be welcome to disturb him in his office.

“You can go, you know?” Dean tells Charlie. “I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than babysitting the two of us.”

Charlie shrugs. “Not sure whether you noticed, but I actually kind of like the both of you.”

“Well, it is pretty nice to have some adult company for a while,” Dean admits. “Your vocabulary is not that big yet, sorry to say,” Dean grins at his daughter.

Instead of answering, she with great concentration wraps both of her hands around her spoon. Dean is never sure whether she wants to help or whether she’s trying to use the spoon as a makeshift weapon. “Ah, maybe let Daddy do that, what do you say?”

She makes a noise of protest and holds on tighter.

“Or we could do this together,” he gives in.

He’s done feeding Mary and has taken her out of her high chair to put her in her playpen so that he and Charlie can get something to eat as well, when Sam hurries into the room, Deanie on his arm. Deanie’s whole face is red and he’s hiccupping angrily even though he’s not outright screaming.

Dean takes one look at Sam’s harried face and stretches out his arms. Sam has to learn, yes, but Dean can only take so many screaming children per day. And he can help stop this meltdown.

“I’m so sorry,” Sam says and plunks Deanie into Dean’s arms. “There’s this new development and Cas and I were going over that and I wanted to bring him back but then I got distracted and I forgot the time.”

He doesn’t wait for an answer before hurrying towards the shelves to get the milk powder and prepare a bottle.

“Yeah, he told me,” Dean says, though he assumes a soothing tone and gently strokes his hand along Deanie’s head. “Your food will be here in a minute, no need to stress out, pumpkin.”

“He told you what?” Sam asks irritated.

“About Michael,” Dean says, still keeping his voice soft and even for Deanie’s sake.

“Oh,” Sam draws up short. He vigorously shakes the bottle, possibly with more force than necessary.

“You okay, Sammy?” Dean asks with raised eyebrows.

“What? Yeah, I’m okay.”

Dean doesn’t even need to smell the heavy fragrance like garbage cans being left out in back alleys in hot summer, slowly spoiling, to know that he’s lying. Calling him out on it will not change a thing, though. “You want me to do this and get back to it?” he asks instead.

“Oh, would you?” The relief is clear in Sam’s voice. He still hesitates for a moment, looking at Deanie, who’s calmed down a bit in Dean’s presence. “God, I feel shitty,” Sam sighs. “He likes you so much better than me.”

Dean could point out a few things about the importance of being calm and stable around babies but he lets it be. “Not true, Sammy. He knows you’re his Dad.”

Sam laughs drily. “He probably thinks the same of you.”

“Yeah,” Dean smiles at Deanie, ”he probably does and that’s okay for now. I like you just as much as if you were mine, little bug.”

“Thank you, Dean,” Sam says and hands Dean the warmed bottle.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean nods and gets comfortable in his chair to feed Deanie.

“I’ll be – I’ll do his night routine today, okay?”

“That would be good,” Dean says. “He’d like that, I’m sure.” He smiles at Deanie who has calmed down completely as soon as the bottle was within his reach.

“I’ll see you later then,” Sam waves and is gone before Dean can look up.

Dean frowns at how quick Sam’s able to dismiss his son. How he didn’t even bend down to give him a goodbye kiss on the forehead like Dean would. He knows it’s unfair that his brain keeps comparing Sam to Dad, but Sam shares some of Dad’s traits, and Deanie doesn’t have a big brother to protect him.

“Michael?” Charlie asks. It breaks Dean out of his reverie.

“Michael,” Dean nods. “He’s the lawyer for the other side. They haven’t told you?”

“No,” Charlie shakes her head.

“Well, maybe you should go talk to them. Pretty sure I’m not going to get the details, but you probably will.”

“You okay with that?” Charlie asks.

Dean grimaces but turns it into a face for Deanie.

“You should talk to Cas about this.”

Dean shrugs. “He’s only told me this much because he needs a reason to give me house arrest.”

Charlie frowns. “This thing is so screwing up your whole dynamic.”

And yeah, it is, but, “He’s still asking, not telling,” Dean answers. “I’m pretty sure any other Alpha would be telling by now.”

Charlie nods grudgingly but she smells unhappy. “It’s just that – your days always seemed so seamlessly integrated. Cas was feeding Mary, you were looking at school budgets. And now…”

“Now they dump the pups on me and lock themselves into the office. I’ve noticed.”

“And you’re okay with it?” she asks incredulously.

Dean shrugs again. “Not much I can do, is there? Someone has to keep the household from falling apart until the Alphas are back to being an active part of it.”

“Apha-Eddy!” Mary croons from her playpen. She has pulled herself up on the bars to stand and look over the edge of the pen.

“Yes, monkey, in a little bit,” Dean smiles at her and wills her not to start wailing again. “Deanie needs his food first.”

She harrumphs but lets herself fall back down on her diapered ass.

“She understands a lot already, doesn’t she?” Charlie marvels.

“Well, she definitely understands that she was promised Alpha-Daddy and that he isn’t here,” Dean sighs.

“And she understands that you can’t just drop Deanie and bring her to her Alpha-Dad. That’s a lot.”

“Yeah,” Dean chuckles, “I’m not quite sure she really understands that. But it’s nice that she’s content for now.” Because she’s going to start getting tired and cranky in no time. And Deanie’s about the slowest feeding kid on the planet. And he’s going to need to be changed and be put to bed after this, too. For a moment, deep apprehension overcomes him. “I have no idea how I’m supposed to handle four of them.”

He’s not actually intended to say that out loud but going by Charlie’s commiserating look, he did.

“Shit,” he mutters softly. “You never heard that, okay?”

“You deal by getting help,” Charlie answers matter-of-factly. “Both from your brother and your mate as well as from a nanny if that’s the only way to make it work. I know you don’t want that. But I’m running Cas’ books, I know he can afford it.”

It’s not a topic Dean wants to discuss. So instead he says, “Think you can keep her company for a few minutes?” Because Deanie’s eyelids are drooping. He’s exhausted himself with his anger attack and now can’t even get through the feeding without falling asleep. “I’m going to tuck this one in.”

“Alright,” Charlie nods.

“Thanks,” Dean smiles. “Come on, little bug.”

He places the baby upright over his shoulder, waking him up enough that he gets his burp in. It’s already making Deanie cranky again, but there isn’t anything he can do about it.

Dean hums softly to him all the way to his room and then also when he lays him down on the changing table. But the minute he lets go of him, Deanie starts crying for real.

“It’s okay, it’s all good, I’m right here,” Dean keeps talking to him while he bends down to get a fresh diaper. “No need to cry, you’re not abandoned up there, still right here.”

But it’s only when Dean is back in Deanie’s field of view that he stops crying.

Dean frowns. He’s noticed that before but he’s never consciously thought about it. “Hey Deanie, what’s up? You want to keep me in sight all the time?”

He bends back down out of Deanie’s view and even though he keeps talking, Deanie starts wailing again.

Dean quickly straightens up again. “Yeah, it’s okay, little bug, no more tests, we’re getting on with it.”

He works quickly and efficiently after that, putting Deanie to bed in less ten minutes. But it worries him. Deanie is reacting differently than Mary was at his age. And yeah, it’s not like kids can’t be different from each other, but Dean had always been able to calm the pups in his care with his voice when he couldn’t be close enough to touch them or keep in their line of sight. And with Deanie, it’s not working.

He sighs. It’s Sammy of course, who should bring Deanie to his routine check-up with Pam. But maybe he won’t have the time. Then Dean might be able to bring this up with the doctor. And he’d really much prefer to talk about this with Pam only. Because maybe it’s nothing. Then he definitely doesn’t want to worry his brother more than he’s already worried. But maybe it’s not nothing. And then Pamela should know.

 

Mary is cranky by the time he gets back, the baby phone clipped to his jeans.

Charlie looks at him apologetically. “I tried. But even the Force is not enough sometimes.”

Dean chuckles. “She’s not getting a light saber until she’s at least three.”

“Pity. She’d make a great Rey.”

“The plusch-BB8 for her birthday already gave me the impression you thought that, yes,” Dean smiles and picks his daughter up after all. She’s not _that_ heavy. Yeah, she’s more than the recommended 25 pounds, but she’s not over the no-go 50 pounds mark. “Okay, young Miss The-Force-Is-Strong-In-Me, we will now get you to bed, where you will have a lovely nap and dream of adventures until it is time to terrorize the house again. Actually, Uncle Gabe and Uncle Balthazar said they were going to come by later today, so you can terrorize them, what do you say?”

“Baz,” she says grumpily.

“Exactly,” Dean answers. He’s never sure whether she’s just imitating the sounds or whether she actually knows who they’re talking about. But he does know that much to Gabriel’s chagrin Mary has taken a real liking to her Alpha-Uncle. Come to think of it, being around any of the Alphas in her vicinity and imitating them seems to be a favorite pastime of hers, providing the Alphas aren’t angry. “Yeah, little monkey, I got a feeling about you,” Dean smiles and gives her a kiss on the cheek. “We got a few years before we know that one for sure, though.”

He’s content enough with that. It’s all the rave in rich circles these days, using DNA markers to find out the pups’ secondary gender before puberty triggers the full development of everyone’s reproductive systems, but Dean doesn’t see the point. Mary is his girl and he won’t raise her any differently whether she’s an Alpha or an Omega. Actually, he’s resigned to never treat her any differently no matter how she presents. So that’s that.

Getting Mary to sleep is a longer struggle than with Deanie. She’s determined to make every step as hard as possible for him. In the end, he pushes the rocking chair next to her bed and holds her hand because it’s the only way to make her stay down.

He startles awake some time later. He checks the baby phone, but no, there’s no noise from there, and Mary’s thankfully snoring softly as well. He shakes his head to clear the remainders of his dizziness and with the motion he catches what woke him.

Cas is here. He’s slumped down next to the door, eyes fixed in their direction but really staring into nothing. As usual these days, he’s pale. He hasn’t noticed that Dean has woken up.

He doesn’t smell like water lilies or ginger or any of his usual scents when he’s upset. Instead, his earth and roots is completely toned down. Like he’s too numb to feel anything. It’s unsettling.

He flinches when Dean silently gets up out of the rocking chair, tracking his every movement.

Dean slides down next to him against the wall, their shoulders and arms touching. He doesn’t say anything, just takes in the perspective. There isn’t actually much of Mary that you can see from down here. But it gives a perfect view of the rocking chair and the baby bed as an ensemble.

Cas keeps his eyes on him for another minute or two, tense, like he’s expecting Dean to corner him. When Dean doesn’t, Cas finally lets his head drop to Dean’s shoulder. Carefully, Dean lays his arm around him and hugs him close, glad when Cas allows it.

They sit like that for what feels like an eternity, quietly breathing in each other’s scent. At some point, Dean drops his forehead to Cas’ hair, closing his eyes in the process. Their breathing syncs up and Dean’s pretty sure even their heartrates start matching each other’s rhythm.

“I love you, Dean.”

It’s whispered so quietly that he almost misses it.

“Love you, too, Cas,” Dean answers just as softly.

 

“Nice of them to do the night routine,” Gabe says. He looks relaxed, feet propped up against their living room table the way Cas hates. But even from his place on the couch Dean can smell the harsh bitterness of cloves, so similar to Cas when he’s stressed out.

“Yeah,” Dean nods, not feeling like explaining what he knows Cas is inevitably going to say once the pups are in bed and it’s time for the grown-up talks. “Nice of them.”

But Gabe is having none of that. “So did they want time to talk without us or did they want to give us time to talk without them?” he keeps nagging.

Dean sighs. “I honestly don’t know, man. It’s not like they keep me in the loop lately.”

Gabe raises his eyebrows. “You wanna talk about that?”

“No,” Dean shakes his head, “I really don’t.” There’s nothing that Gabe can say that Charlie hasn’t said already anyway. Or that Dean hasn’t thought. “Things are shitty. But the pups are healthy and according to Pam, I’m not dying. I’ll take it.”

It comes out harsher than he wanted. He regrets it, too, when Gabe’s face closes up.

Dean groans. “Sorry,” he apologizes. “How are you doing anyway?”

Because with everything going on, he’s had way too little time to check in with Gabriel. Or maybe, he would have had the time but couldn’t find the energy. Either way, it’s not how he wants things to be.

“Also not dying,” Gabriel grouches.

“Come on, man,” Dean sighs.

“Yeah, yeah,” Gabe gives in. “It’s okay. It’s just –“ He makes a vague hand gesture.

“The amount of pups in this household getting too much for you?”

“Something like that,” Gabe admits.

“They love you, you know that, right? Mary and the little bug?”

Gabe snorts. “Mary loves Balthazar. He’s the uncle who hung the moon.”

“He’s an Alpha,” Dean shrugs. Gabe looks at him questioningly, so he continues. “She could take worse role models than Cas and Bal.”

“It starts that early, huh?” Gabe replies thoughtfully.

“Or she really just likes them better than us,” Dean smiles.

“Eh, I’ll go with your first interpretation,” Gabe grins back.

It’s weak, but it’s better than nothing.

Of course the good mood holds exactly until the moment the Alphas are back. It’s just Cas and Bal, Sam probably still trying to get Deanie to quieten down since Dean’s not there to help.

But they have talked. Dean can tell immediately from the grim expression on Bal’s face.

“You want me to stay or should I go help Sam?” Dean asks Cas.

“What’s wrong?” Gabriel asks simultaneously.

Both Alphas stay frozen for a moment. Bal’s face seems not to be able to decide what emotion to portray. Cas just looks guilty.

Dean rolls his eyes and turns to Gabriel. “They’re going to ask you not to leave the house on your own. And I guess there’ll be a few stipulations about meeting the parents of your charges and shit. And they’re going to tell you that I already agreed. Which is true. Cause your fuckhead of a big brother has decided to take the court case against the Moores and make it his personal vendetta. Does that about cover it?” Dean turns back to the Alphas, their expressions now mostly horrified. Something in Dean snaps. “I can’t. I’m sorry. You figure this one out. I’ll go help Sam.”

“Dean!”

But he lets his forward motion propel him out. He doesn’t want to be a part of this. Doesn’t want to be there for the Alphas slowly beating down Gabe’s resistance until he inevitably agrees as well. He can accept that it has to happen but he doesn’t want to be a part of it.

So he goes to find Sam instead.

Surprisingly, it’s calm and quiet when he gets to Sam’s and Deanie’s room. He pushes open the door softly and finds Deanie on the bed, his eyes drooping, his father wrapped around him holding him close.

The scene is peaceful. It makes Dean smile. There are very few peaceful moments in the house lately, and even less of them are between his brother and his pup.

After a few moments, Sam notices him, but Dean waves him off when he gestures for Dean to come in. He’s good waiting here for a bit and enjoying.

Another five minutes later and Deanie is fast asleep. Sam carefully sweeps him up and puts him down in his crib, the only piece of furniture from his original nursery that Sam has put back up. Sam watches Deanie for another minute to make sure he didn’t wake up during the short way to the crib. Once he’s satisfied, he grabs the baby phone and moves over to where Dean is still standing in the door way.

“Well done, Sammy,” Dean smiles.

Sam actually blushes at that, even though he grumbles something about it not being a big accomplishment.

There is no sense in embarrassing him further, so Dean slaps him on the shoulder instead.

But still, the sense of grief and regret is rolling off of Sam in waves, the months since Jessica’s death having dulled his pain only little. It makes Dean’s heart clench.

“You don’t regret him, do you?” Dean asks and wants to take back the words the minute he’s said them. He is not sure he can take an honest answer from Sam if the answer is yes.

“Do I do - what?” Sam asks back.

“Forget I asked,” Dean says gruffly and turns around and into the hallway.

“Wait.” There’s a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Is that what you think? That I don’t – that I let you – because I _regret_ him?”

Dean stops but he doesn’t turn back around to his brother. “You lost her because of him. It’s –“ _Dad would have traded us for Mom._ But he doesn’t bring himself to say it. Instead he turns back around after all. “It’s not his fault, you know? He didn’t want to take her from you.”

“Dean, I don’t think he – I’m fighting hard for him. To protect him.”

Dean nods, because yeah, he knows that, but, “He needs his dad, Sam. Not just an Alpha to protect him.”

Anger flashes in Sam’s eyes and Dean takes an automatic step backwards, wrapping his arms around his belly in protection.

“I’m doing what I can,” Sam growls.

“I know, Sam. I know,” Dean mumbles soothingly and lays his head to the side to bare his throat ever so slightly. Enough to calm Sam’s Alpha-side hopefully, without being too obvious.

Abruptly, Sam’s posture changes and he slides back against the wall, rubs a tired hand over his face.

“You okay?” Dean asks cautiously.

“Yeah,” Sam nods. “Yeah. It’s just that – some days I still can’t comprehend it, you know? I wake up and I expect to find her next to me. But then I turn around and her space is empty.”

There is nothing to say to that so Dean doesn’t. But he walks over so that he can lean against the wall next to his brother, their shoulders almost touching.

“But I’m not – I love him, Dean. I just – some days it feels like I need to love him enough for the both of us. Like I need to make up for what she can’t give him anymore and it’s –“

“Too much,” Dean finishes the sentence when Sam doesn’t.

“Yeah,” Sam confirms.

“He’s got a lot of people who love him. You and me and Cas and Gabe and Bal and Charles, and even Meg and Hannah. He’s got  a lot more people than we had. It ain’t gonna be like with us. He’s gonna grow up good.”

“Unless I lose him,” Sam says darkly.

“You won’t.” Dean’s not sure where he takes the confidence from but he knows it deep in his heart. “You won’t, Sam. You’re gonna see. It’s going to be good.”

It’s not a smile. Not really. But it’s closer to one than Sam’s been in a long time. “You said that on that first day. When you met Cas and fucking got engaged to him on first whiff.”

Dean chuckles at the description, even though or maybe because it isn’t all that far from the truth. “Well, I was right, wasn’t I?”

“Yes. Yes, you were,” Sam says, serious again.

Dean bites his lips. In all likelihood, there wouldn’t have been Stanford or Jessica or Deanie without Cas. Not cause Sam didn’t have the smarts, but because he most likely wouldn’t have tried. They had accepted that some things were unattainable when they’d met Cas. It’s only because he didn’t see a problem that they’d also started to believe again. Which brings Dean back to his original question. “So, do you regret it? Would you change it if you could?”

It’s an unfair question and he knows it, but he can’t keep from asking.

“She knew, Dean. She knew this might happen,” Sam says. “I didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t want to think about it. But she – she told me she didn’t regret anything and that even – that she wouldn’t regret it even then. That it was worth it. That Deanie was worth it.” He turns to Dean, smile pained. “I’m holding on to that. Every night when I think that I – when I think that she’d still be alive if she hadn’t met me. _It was worth it._ She believed that. So I gotta believe it, too.”

Dean doesn’t cry. He doesn’t. But if he hides his face in his brother’s shirt when he hugs him, and if his brother does the same to him, no one ever needs to know.

 

By the time they come back, smelling of tears, the living room is empty. They go in search of the visitors, but find only Cas in the kitchen.

Dean takes one look at his mate and nudges at his brother. “Go to bed, Sam.”

Sam nods, unresisting, and leaves them alone.

Dean goes to the stove, fills the kettle with water and puts it on. There’s something comforting about the ritual even though he could nuke some water in the microwave.

He takes two mugs out of the cupboard.

“Egyptian mint?” he asks.

“Do we have chamomile left?” Cas asks back.

Dean’s eyebrows rise. “You punishing yourself?” Because Cas despises chamomile.

“Just feels like even mint is too stimulating.”

“You can always try the fennel you make me drink,” Dean grins.

Cas looks through his smirk of course, sees how fake it is, and Dean guesses that’s the reason why he gets a tired smile instead of an offended grimace. “Okay.”

“Not the answer I expected,” Dean replies but he puts a tea bag into each cup. “So, did he agree?”

“Yes.” It sounds deeply unhappy.

“Thought he would,” Dean answers. “How’d he take it?”

“Which part?” Cas grimaces. “The restriction of his movement or the fact that it’s Michael who is responsible for all of this?”

“There’s that,” Dean admits because he hadn’t thought about it from this perspective yet. Cas’ brothers and especially Michael have always been a sort of dark shadow on the horizon for him, represented by Anna before she got her shit together and always somewhere in play. But they’d been quietly lately and Cas tries to keep all of this family shit away from Gabe anyway. “Did he freak?”

“He got pissed.”

Dean smiles for real at that. “Good for him. Probably not so much for you, but hey. Two Alphas, you can take one Omega.”

Cas rolls his eyes at that, but it’s a bit more relaxed than he was before. “No one takes Gabe if he doesn’t want them to.”

“Hear, hear,” Dean chuckles. “Guess that’s the kind of stuff Alphas talk about with each other, huh?”

“Oh, you’re awful,” Cas replies when he gets the innuendo in his own words. “I do _not_ talk about my brother’s sex life with my brother-in-law.”

“Good to know. Just don’t expect the same courtesy of us,” Dean grins back and takes the kettle off the stove right before it starts whistling.

“Awful, I swear,” Cas repeats but his arm snakes its way around Dean’s waist and he rests his chin on Dean’s shoulder while he watches him pour the water into the cups.

“So you’ve told me, little Alpha,” Dean smiles. He turns the stove off and reaches back to hand off one of the cups to Cas. “Guess you gotta live with it, though.”

“I think I can do that,” Cas smiles and presses a quick kiss into Dean’s neck before taking the cup.

“Good,” Dean smiles back easily, takes his own cup and weaves his free hand into Cas’. “Come on then, Alpha, off to bed.”

 

It ends up being Hannah who is his chaperone most of the time. Charlie’s skills are needed elsewhere, and being with Meg is deemed too stressful for Dean after they get into a shouting match in Pam’s waiting room.

Hannah is not the worst option by far but it’s enough to deter Dean from any ideas of road trips or other activities that would leave him alone with her for a long time. Unfortunately, it’s also enough to deter him from visiting Gabriel. They’ve made their peace, Gabriel and Hannah, but the tension ratchets too high for Dean to feel comfortable.

So he confines himself to bitching with Gabe via text. He has a feeling that this whole ordeal is harder for Gabe than for him. Dean’s pretty house-bound right now anyway, so he doesn’t feel the leash as much as Gabe does. Also, though Gabe would never admit it, Michael still scares him. Even with his mate by his side, even with everything that he’s reached in his life, the fact that Michael once had the power over him to sell him off is still burned into his bones. Dean doesn’t think it’s a thing that anyone can forget.

Of course Gabe covers it with bravado and lewd jokes, but they know each other too well for it to be convincing.

“Uhh, careful there, little monkey,” Dean catches Mary just when she’s about to tumble over and hit her head on the table leg she’s used to push herself upright. “What do you say, do we want to try this out on the soft grass instead of the hard porch?”

The question isn’t really for Mary. Hannah nods and closes her book to move down onto the lawn with them. Because God forbid they’re three feet away from her.

Mary is exhilarated the moment he sets her down on the lawn, crawling through the short grass and in the direction of the flower beds. How there are still any flowers left with the enthusiasm their daughter shows for plucking them and with intense attention taking the individual petals apart, he has no idea. But then, they have made sure that all of their flowers are non-poisonous and the fascination for them keeps Mary in one place. So Dean’s not going to complain. It’s bad enough that Mary is becoming ever more mobile while he’s becoming ever more immobile. It’s an unfortunate combination.

He takes Deanie’s carrier and puts it on the bench by the flowers, sitting down next to it, while Mary is already breaking the first stem, giggling excitedly.

“I hope this means you have an interest in becoming a scientist when you grow up, not a serial killer,” he chuckles.

Hannah gives him a disapproving frown for the statement and then sinks her nose back into her book.

It’s a truce between them, no more and no less, and they both know it.

Dean can imagine it, actually, Hannah working for Michael. She’s a stickler for the rules just like him. “Why’d you do it?” he asks and surprises himself.

“What?” Hannah looks up from her page, caught by surprise as well.

“Why’d you switch sides from Michael to Cas? Doesn’t seem like you.”

She watches him quietly for a moment, trying to puzzle out whether there’s judgement or accusation behind the words. But Dean’s honestly mostly curious.

“Castiel’s point of view was - convincing,” she answers.

“But didn’t he ask you to betray your boss?”

Hannah squints at him. “Are you asking me whether I would betray Castiel?” she asks bluntly.

And okay, Dean can work with blunt. “I wasn’t, actually. But now that you mention it…”

“You’re safe with me, Dean.” She says it like it’s hurting her a little bit inside.

Dean chuckles. “Just make it clear how much we share the same amount of enthusiasm for this arrangement, will ya?”

“I apologize. I meant no offense.”

“None taken,” Dean shrugs. “But really, why did you follow him? I’ve always wondered.”

This time, she doesn’t brush him off. Instead, she gives him a quiet smile. “Believe it or not, Dean, but rules aren’t everything for me. Castiel was right, Michael was not. No matter what he technically can or cannot do as pack-Alpha.”

“Huh,” Dean says surprised.

“There is value in choice. In freedom,” Hannah adds. “Castiel made me see that. That order isn’t everything.”

And maybe Dean has underestimated Hannah. “There’s order in his pack. It’s just more the self-organizing kind.”

“And that kind is more stable than what you force on people. Yes, Dean, I’ve learned the lesson.”

They fall silent for a while.

“I’m sorry for giving you a hard time,” Dean finally says.

“No, you’re not,” Hannah shakes her head but her smile is still in place. “You despise me for the role I played under Michael and you are wary of my role now. I’m well aware that we have different opinions on many things, Dean. But we do agree on the one.”

“Cas.”

She nods. “I will not betray him. Can I go back to my book now?”

“Umm, sure,” he agrees.

She smiles again and turns back to where she’d marked the page with her finger.

 

For a month and a bit, life continues more or less as before. Dean gets bigger by the day. It’s partly that why it’s not as obnoxious anymore as it was, having Hannah follow his every step. He’s not going to many places apart from his bed, the kitchen and the nursery anyway. Even the trips to the garden get less.

The other part is that the truce is almost a peace between them now. Hannah keeps him updated on the nursery renovations for the twins and lets him decide all the details he has no chance to put in himself this time around. They could have started sooner with the nursery, obviously, giving him more part in it. But somehow it had seemed like a bad omen, starting on the room before it was clear that the pups would have a chance.

Now though, the pups are doing well and every week Pam smiles a little wider in their appointments. She has high hopes. He likes high hopes. She warns him, though, that even with the best care, twins are often early. That he should have his bag packed by now, even though it’s still six weeks to go nominally. Dean complies, though he tells the twins to take their time even while he’s packing the bag. “No need to hurry into this world, just cook a little longer, okay?”

Sam makes an effort, taking time that he would have spent locked in the office to care for his son. He makes the time to take him to Pam for his check-up, too. Dean’s tempted to go with them or to write a note for Pam at least, but in the end, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know what to write to make his observations sound like anything but paranoia. He’ll keep an eye on Deanie and as long as he grows and laughs and seems healthy, he’ll hold his peace and be glad that Sam seems to be recovering and moving away from the single-minded grief that drove their Dad to lose track of anything else, including the needs of his children.

They start discussing Mary’s naming ceremony again, a topic that got postponed and postponed. Cas is split-minded about it, wanting to not only welcome Mary but also Deanie into the pack, making it sure that it’s official that the little bugger is a pack member. At the same time, Cas is anxious and frets about the possibility of foul play. A naming ceremony has to be announced, the whole town will be invited, it would be a perfect opportunity for anyone who wants to sabotage them.

Dean wishes he could tell his mate that he’s overreacting, but he doesn’t trust the Moores and he doesn’t trust Michael. Michael has spied on them before, and while he has never done anything outrageous, who is to say that he won’t? Or that he isn’t working together with Lucifer, the brother who by every account Dean has heard has no scruples whatsoever? Cas says it’ll never happen and that his brothers hate each other down to the bone and that’s all good and well, but they have a common enemy in Cas that Dean thinks might be enough to unite them.

Dean tries to ask Gabe about it, but Gabe is sulking and close-mouthed about the topic.

“You know, I was thinking I was actually gaining some freedom moving here. Not falling back to ‘the Omega can’t leave the house’”, Gabriel grumbles on the phone one day.

“I’m sorry you got caught up in this,” Dean sighs.

“Don’t be sorry for something that’s not your fault,” Gabe bitches back. “It’s all those damn Alphas and their goddamn power plays.”

“It’s not all power play. I mean, I have a picture of your Alpha braiding my daughter’s hair,” Dean counters. That had been a hilarious moment to walk in on, Balthazar on the floor trying desperately to fasten a bright yellow tie in Mary’s hair without the short braid he’d managed falling apart again.

“And he’s not the one whose fault this whole mess is, is he now?”

“All I’m saying is – not all Alphas.”

Gabriel makes gagging noises on the other end of the line and Dean can’t really find it in him to keep defending the state of the world.

“It’s not forever,” Dean says instead because, well, it’s not. He hopes anyway.

“Unless they figure out that they like it. That they like knowing where we are 24/7. Having us under control. Having us _safe_ ,” he spits it like an insult. “Like I’ve ever been safe in the company of Alphas who knew what’s best for me.”

“They don’t know what else to do,” Dean answers. “They’re scared.”

“Then find a therapist to talk about your fears, don’t take them out on us.”

“They’re not unfounded fears,” Dean counters.

“Nah, they’re probably not,” Gabriel admits and sounds even more sullen. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Sure doesn’t. It’s not like I like it, either.”

“So you gonna do the naming?” Gabriel asks.

“No,” Dean sighs. “The counsel of the wise has deemed it too dangerous.”

“Ellen and Jody siding with Cas then?”

“Yep.”

“Yeah, you got no chance against that.”

“I know,” Dean sighs. “Still. I’d – I don’t know, I just have this feeling that it would be better if the pups were officially a part of this pack. I mean, they are, because they’re born into it, but still, they should be welcomed.”

“No one’s going to throw them out, Dean.”

“No, not throw them out, but…” _Unseen hands ripping his daughter away from him, then ripping him away from Cas._ “I just have this feeling.”

 

“This was in the mail for you.” Charlie plops down an envelope in front of him. “You in trouble with your classes? Or did you not pay your fees?”

Dean looks at the envelope. It’s from his college. There is no specific department or professor on the sender address, so it looks like it’s from the administration. “Nah, I’m not in any trouble as far as I know,” he frowns.

“Maybe an invitation to the annual ball of Alpha/Omega fondling or something.”

“Charles, it might be an Omega college but that doesn’t mean that they play matchmaker,” Dean chastises.

Charlie shrugs. “Keep telling yourself that. College is the biggest wedding market out there. Course they’re gonna use that.“

She’s probably right. Not that he needs to admit it. “Thanks for this,” he says and waves with the letter before putting it in his pocket. He’s not going to give her the satisfaction to be right. At least not right now.

Charlie smirks at him as if she’s looking right through him. “Yeah, yeah, I was going anyway. You can read your letter in peace.” She gives him the peace sign and saunters off.

He smiles at her retreating back. At least someone who manages to stay sunny.

Then he pulls the envelope back out. He really doesn’t think he’s in trouble. He only took two assignments this semester, both of which are papers, both of which are already finished and submitted. And not only that, he had Kevin read over them and Kevin approved of them. So they must be decent enough to pass at least.

Then of course, Dean is taking another semester off after this. And while Omega colleges are supposed to accommodate for the possibility of pregnancy and child rearing breaks, there’s enough professors who think that once you have children, you should focus on them and stop studying. So if they’ve got the upper hand in his case, maybe he is getting thrown out no matter his grades.

He turns the envelope around in his hands another time.

He should open it. If it’s bad news, he can always fight them. He knows that he’s got a few professors on his side. Henriksen, as much as he hated him in the beginning, seems impressed that Dean stuck around. Rowena is going to give him snark but she’s going to help, he thinks. She’s asked him whether he wants to do his thesis in her department, after all.

With a deep breath, he rips the envelope open. Here goes nothing.

The pages that come tumbling out are covered in snug, controlled handwriting, almost like the person writing the letter was trying to save space and crowded all the letters together as tightly as possible. They’re written on blank white sheets of paper, like you’d use in a printer. There’s no university seal on the pages.

“What’s this?” Dean mumbles. “Did someone fuck up and put their private letter in the wrong envelope?”

It seems like the easiest explanation if it wasn’t for the first line.

_Dear Dean_

Okay, that seems like a bit too much of a coincidence, someone putting the wrong letter in the envelope and also writing to someone named Dean.

He takes the letter over to the window, where the light is better, so that he can decipher the cramped handwriting.

 

_Dear Dean,_

_Can I call you Dean? I do not know what else to call you. Mister Castiel Novak? It doesn’t sound right to me. I’m writing to you as my own person, and while I have little hope that this letter will reach you, I will pretend that it does and that you are also your own person, not just the extension of your Alpha._

_Did you know that it is illegal to open a letter addressed personally to someone else? Even if that someone is an Omega. Of course if your mate is anything like mine – and it stands to reason that he is – he will have found a way to make you consent to having your mail read before it gets to you. For your own safety and to spare your delicate sensibilities, of course. Not to make sure you do not have a single thought or receive a single word that is not sanctioned by him._

_I can only hope that a letter from your university will be inconspicuous enough that it gets through. It was the only thing I knew about you that I thought might have a chance to work. A friend is helping me to get the letter out of the house and make it look official. He is good with things like that._

_I’m torn how much I should tell you. I endanger myself enough by doing this at all, I don’t want to risk more than I have to. But then, if I tell you nothing personal, you have no reason to trust me and to believe that this letter is honest and not a ploy by the Alpha who is intent on destroying your family._

_I remember him, you know? Castiel. I remember him at the house, a quiet shadow just barely louder than me. And I remember him a terrifying, hard judge._

_I don’t know which of these he is to you or whether he’s become something else entirely. If he finds this letter and feels that it is only righteous to tell his brother about his mate’s betrayal, we will both suffer. In that case, I am sorry. I did not mean to rain down terror on you or on myself._

_I have taken such great lengths to make sure he doesn’t find out. That he never notices how much I hear. I have become adept at blending into the shadows. At being meek and docile enough to hide in plain sight. He’s not careful, often talking business while I’m in the room. He doesn’t see me as a threat. It’s the only power that I have._

_I cannot believe that I’m risking it for someone who I’ve seen exactly once. I know that you’ve noticed us. Back at the funeral. They shouldn’t have been there, of course. Not both of them anyway. It’s either your mate or mine, a distance of 100 feet mandatory. And my mate is supposed to yield the space to yours. Not that he would._

_But you._

_You didn’t wear a collar._

_You didn’t seem afraid._

_In fact, I think you snarled at Michael while you stepped closer to your mate, like you were sure he would protect you, not punish you for your insolence._

_I have seen a picture of your daughter. The one that Michael is using. She smiles so brightly, like there isn’t a single care in the world. I don’t know whether I ever smiled liked that, or whether you did. But I know that a smile like that is something that is worth protecting. And you aren’t afraid. You will do what you can to protect her._

_So here is what I know. Michael knows that he cannot win the case for the Moores. He knew it from the beginning. He doesn’t care about it. He took the case because it gave him opportunity to look into files that he would otherwise look suspicious to be searching for. Files about your pack. Files about you and your brother. Files about his brother._

_It took him a while to find anything he could use, but he thinks he found it now. He has found that John Winchester is not your Sire and he has put a name to the one who sired you. If you know nothing about this, if John Winchester is your father to you, this will sound crazy. But I swear to you, I’m not lying. I’ve tried to make photocopies of the documents, but Michael tracks every use of every copy machine and I cannot get the files out of his office. You will have to trust me on this._

_Your Sire is a man named Cain Mullen. He is lone wolf. But back when he sired you, he had a pack and was powerful and respected. Your mother fled him before you were born. I do not know why. But she took you and fled, and you would have been your Sire’s firstborn._

_And that is the problem. Because there is an old law that demands compensation if a firstborn is stolen from an Alpha. It is considered outdated, but it is not abolished and Michael will use it. A powerful Alpha diminished and made lone wolf. It is a story that can sway a judge._

_And the promise of revenge will make a lone wolf go along with Michael’s ideas. I’ve seen it before._

_So here is his plan: Michael will demand your firstborn in your Sire’s name, to be delivered as compensation for what your mother did to him. He plans to ruin his brother by taking away from him what he loves the most. And he will ruin you and your daughter in the process. You are no more than collateral damage to him, ultimately no more important than a fly on the wall._

_I can’t be certain of course. That you haven’t wanted to flee for years and haven’t found a way how. That you will take the chance now that you have warning. But I have to believe that you want to protect your child. That you want to keep her safe and be with her, no matter the circumstances._

_So I’m telling you this so that you can prepare. I don’t know where you’ll find the resources or the strength. Maybe you have friends, like I have the friend who helps me with this letter. Friends who can smuggle you away. Maybe you can find a way to disappear and take her with you. Or maybe, if your mate reads this letter and not you, he will believe my words enough to lock you in and keep you safe. At least you’d be together with her, even if whatever freedom you have now is taken away. I have to believe that that counts for something._

_I will pray for you, Dean, and for your daughter. I will pray that something good will come of this risk that I’m taking. I have no children but I know in my heart that if I did I would protect them fiercely._

_Adam._

 

Dean is too stunned after he’s read the letter to even move. He lets his eyes follow the lines again, catching individual words in the neat, tight-set handwriting.

_Adam_ , his eyes stumble over the name. A tall, light-haired Omega with an Alpha a few inches shorter than him. It must be. It must be them. Adam and Michael. How has Adam even noticed him? He hadn’t once looked up as far as Dean could see.

_Disappear with your daughter. Cain Mullen._

The words are there but they make little sense in his head.

_If your mate finds this letter._

Of course he hasn’t. Cas doesn’t make a habit out of opening Dean’s mail. Doesn’t force his consent.

_I have no children but I know in my heart that if I did I would protect them fiercely._

The sentence catapults Dean out of his shock and into the present. Of course he will always protect his pups.

He jumps up and grabs the baby phone.

He checks on his daughter first, because he needs to make sure she’s still here and still safe. She is. She is lying in her bed, sleeping soundly. God bless lunchtime naps.

_Disappear or be locked up._

Dean shakes himself out of it.

No. That’s not them. Neither of these options.

He closes the nursery door behind himself, then fumbles for his phone.

“Dean?”

“Charlie, meet us in Cas’ office. We’re going to need your help.” He doesn’t give her time to respond, just hangs up and hurries towards the office.

“Dean?” Three heads look up at him from where they were bent over papers.

“Ellen,” Dean acknowledges the one person he didn’t expect. But it’s as well that she’s here.

“Dean,” Cas gets up, confused frown on his face that changes quickly towards worry. “What’s up?”

“I’m here, I’m here,” Charlie comes darting around the corner, out of breath. “Why am I here?”

“Because of this,” Dean says and drops the letter in the middle of the table. “Because I’m going to need you to track someone down.”

Cas grabs the letter first. His face draws tight the further he reads.

“Can you let the others read as well, please?” Dean asks when Cas white-knuckles the letter after he’s finished with it.

Cas nods mutely. Dean still has to pry the letter out of his hands to give it to Sam and Charlie, who stick their heads close together to read at the same time.

There’s a little gasp from Sam when he gets who the letter is from, but Charlie reads with grim determination.

“Cain Mullen it is then?” She asks when she’s done, giving the letter on to Ellen.

“Yes,” Dean nods. “Can you find him?”

“I can find anyone,” Charlie confirms.

“Good,” Dean says. “Let me know when you have found him.” Then he turns to Cas, whose eyes are glued to Dean. “I’m going to talk to him.”

Dean lays all the determination he can muster into the sentence and keeps looking directly at Cas as well to drive his point home.

“Dean, are you sure that that is a good idea? I mean this sounds like…”

“… like it’s not your decision, Sam,” Dean interrupts him without taking his eyes from Cas. “That Alpha wants me. Not Mary. Me. And we can give him that. Then Michael has no foothold anymore.”

“Dean!” Sam exclaims shocked.

But Dean shakes his head. “Don’t worry. I don’t plan on staying.” He wills Cas to understand. “It’s never even occurred to him. That I could have agenda beyond running or being locked up. So it won’t occur to Michael, either. It’s the one way we can surprise them.”

“I don’t like it, but Dean’s not wrong,” Ellen says cautiously, smoothing the letter down as she puts it back on the table. “Michael is used to thinking like a lawyer. He won’t expect a direct approach.”

“Then Cas should go,” Sam says empathically.

“This is not about Cas,” Dean replies just as empathically. “It’s about Cas for Michael, but not for this guy. Besides, wasn’t it you who wanted me to find my Sire? Guess you’re getting your wish.”

Sam honest to God snarls at him for that, a gesture with rips Cas out of his motionless contemplation. He snarls right back at Sam, who immediately backs down.

“Guys!” Charlie frowns at them.

“Safety has to come first!” Sam picks up his train of thought without pause, if in a somewhat politer tone. “It’s harebrained to send Dean out there!”

This time, Dean growls at his brother himself. He doesn’t like being called harebrained. You saying it’s better to lock me up? You saying this,” he stabs at the letter with his finger, “is better? Cause last I checked, you were fighting against this kind of shit in college.”

“But Dean!” This time it sounds like a whine.

“You want me safe. I get it. Believe me, I get it. But this is not how it works. This whole – everything,” he gestures to include the whole goddamn house and then finally has his hands end up on his belly, “this is not how _we_ work,” he turns back to Cas. “I try, Cas. I try so fucking hard to stay quiet and let you do your thing but this, I can’t do this. I can’t sit by when he’s threatening our daughter. I won’t. Not when I can help.” _Don’t make me do this,_ he pleads silently. _Please._

Something in Cas’ stance changes. Like he’s breathing for the first time in a while. “Okay.” It’s quiet, almost toneless but it is accompanied by a nod. “Charlie, please find out what you can?”

“Yes, Alpha,” she nods and scurries off towards her own office.

“Anything we can do?” Ellen asks.

“Yes,” Cas nods. “Please research the law that Adam mentioned. We need to gather as much information as we can before we decide on a detailed course of action.”

“Okay,” Ellen nods. “Come on, Sam, let’s go.”

But Sam is rooted in place, looking between Cas and Dean. “You can’t seriously contemplate letting him do this!” he accuses Cas.

“Sam,” Ellen reprimands him sharply, “I know you’re in mourning, but show some respect.”

“It’s okay,” Cas interferes. “Sam, did Dean ever take any unnecessary risks when raising you?”

“What?”

“Mind you, I’m not asking whether he ever took risks. I know that he did. But were they ever unnecessary?”

“Umm – no? I don’t think so.”

“Then you, just like me, should give him the benefit of listening to what he has to say before acting on our instincts.” Cas turns to Dean. “For the record, this doesn’t mean that I’m happy about it, either.”

“Ain’t like I’m happy about it,” Dean shrugs. This is actually a much better reaction from Cas than he’s hoped for. “Let us talk alone for a moment, Sammy? I promise we’re not deciding anything right this second.”

Sam nods jerkily and turns on his heel, shoulders drawn up and obviously unhappy. But he goes.

“How you holding up?” Dean asks Cas as soon as they’re alone.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you this?” Cas asks with a grimace.

Dean shrugs again. “This is your family, man. I just got caught in the middle.”

Cas takes the letter again, eyes flying over the tight lines.

“That took guts. Him writing me.” Dean volunteers quietly. “I think I saw him. Him and Michael. At the funeral. Remember the creepy Alpha I told you about? Pretty sure that was him.”

“How could I have missed them, though,” Cas frowns.

“Michael made sure you didn’t see him? I mean, he knew he’d get in trouble.” When Cas doesn’t answer anything, he continues. “At least they don’t have a case with Deanie. I mean, if even Adam says it, it’s true, right?”

“He’s not yours, Dean. Mary is.”

“Way to not see the silver lining, dude,” Dean sighs. “Also, Mary’s safe. We’ll keep her safe. _I’ll_ keep her safe.”

“By going there and talking to –“

“My Sire, yeah.”

“Your mother fled him!” Cas exclaims desperately.

“But she didn’t   _flee him - flee him_. I think anyway. Why would she have protected him from the hunters otherwise? My Dad had enough of a network to take any pack-Alpha out back then, especially if the guy hurt my Mom. Nah,” Dean shakes his head, “I have a feeling about this.”

Cas doesn’t reply immediately, just stares unhappily into nothing for a while.

Dean doesn’t push him. It’s not like he has a real plan here, either. He has the beginnings of one, but that’s it. The only thing he knows is that he wants his mate on his side.

When Cas’ eyes finally focus back, they’re determined. He’s made his decision. Dean automatically stands a little straighter.

“You’re not going alone.” The statement doesn’t allow room for argument.

Not that Dean wants to argue. He smiles in relief. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“And Mary doesn’t leave our pack grounds.”

“You want to leave her behind?” Dean frowns.

“I want her safe.”

“Yeah,” Dean says. “Me too.” Still, the thought of leaving his daughter behind doesn’t sit right with him. “Let’s see what Charlie finds out and make our plans according to that?”

“No,” Cas shakes his head. “It’s non-negotiable. I’m guessing we’re on a time-line that has you - not at full health. I can take one lone wolf. But I can’t concentrate on both of you. I need to know that she is safe.”

Dean’s heard it well, the hesitation before even mentioning his health. And yeah, Dean’s fighting power is not in physical strength right now. “Let’s try to figure out a way to ensure that it doesn’t come to that, okay? A way where talking is all that’s going to happen.”

“You’re not handing yourself over.”

“What?”

“You have a tendency to self-sacrifice. Don’t.”

“I wouldn’t. I’m carrying your pups,” Dean says bewildered.

Cas frowns. “Even if you didn’t. Your life is not a chip to trade.”

“Cas,” Dean takes a step closer to his mate, “we’ve been through this. Back with my Dad and the liver. I’m not planning to throw my life away. But I’m not letting Mary get taken, either.”

_Unseen hands ripping first his daughter, then himself away from his mate._ The sudden thought makes him sick.

“Dean?”

Cas is in his space, pressing close as Dean notices that he’s started trembling.

“They can’t take her.” His voice is barely more than a whisper.

“Dean…”

“They can’t,” Dean repeats, more feverish this time.

“No,” Cas cries. “No, Dean. Never. We won’t allow it to happen.” He crushes Dean into a hug.

_We._

_We won’t allow it to happen._

They’re a unit. Still and always a unit.

 

They’re grim and determined after that. And not only them, the whole household seems to catch their mood.

But the new determination has its advantages. Dean’s not getting left out anymore. Any update from Charlie, any meeting about a new letter, Dean is invited.

It means that they have to share the responsibilities for the children more evenly, so they do. It’s surprising how easy that is suddenly. Of course it helps that school is out for the summer, so Gabe and Bal have more time and take over pup duty more often than before.

Dean thinks up and disregards about a dozen possibilities of how he might be able to answer Adam. A simple _I have gotten your letter, thank you_ would be enough for him. But there really isn’t a way. Not one that is safe, anyway.

Dean thinks of the tall blonde Omega, of the expensive collar around his neck and the way his hands had been folded so meekly. He tucks Adam’s letter into his wallet. He can’t endanger him. Not for something as small and selfish as saying thank you.

Charlie, in the meantime, has more success. She hunts down Alpha Cain Mullen within a week. Within two weeks she has a profile on him, detailing most of his life. There is no mention of Dean’s mom. What there is, though, is the mention of a change of packs that Dean would bet wasn’t voluntary, and later of a mate named Colette who died under suspicious circumstances.

It’s that part that Dean studies most closely. Anything that makes him understand how this Alpha ticks. Even if his heart has been hardened in the face of the losses that his life seems to consist of, there must be something that he still feels. Some way how Dean can explain to him why taking their daughter will not make him happier but will give everyone grief.

He looks over to where Mary is playing on the floor of their bedroom. He’s taken to taking the stacks of papers to bed with him. He’s pretty sure Pam would be adamantly against bringing work and pain into the bedroom, but he’s supposed to rest, so this is the way it is.

Mary has discovered the joy of crayons and is busy covering as many papers as possible with them. Dean thinks it might be because both of her parents are always carrying papers around that she wants her own. But then, she has managed to also cover a good third of her play blanket in various shades, so maybe it’s more her fascination with everything colorful.

He smiles at the concentrated frown on his daughter’s face as she tries to make the crayons do what she wants them to do. Finer motor skills are not always easy.

“Hey, sunshine,” he calls her softly, making her look up. “You’re doing great. That looks very pretty. Not need to get frustrated.”

She frowns at him for another moment but then she grins. It’s like the sun rising.

“Boo!” She holds up the crayon in question.

“Actually, that’s yellow, not blue, honey. But it’s a great color. You could paint the sun. Or Deanie’s blanket. You know how it is yellow and blue?”

“Dee-eee.”

“Yeah, Deanie.

“Dee-ee?”

“He’s sleeping in the other room. He’s very small still, he can’t play as much as you.”

“Dee-ee,” she repeats and turns back to her paper to start scrawling again.

“Yeah,” Dean says, heart suddenly heavier. “Yeah, you’re right.”

It would rip him apart, losing her. He couldn’t. Not if some Alpha took her away, to raise her who knows where and how.

Deanie’s got Sam. Rob and Ben will have Cas. If it comes to that.

It would rip him apart as well, leaving them behind. But they’d be safe and loved and well-cared for.

He thinks Cas knows. From the second he laid eyes on that letter. That if worst came to worst, Dean would go with her. That he would never leave his daughter to fend for herself.

“I think he’d wait for us,” Dean whispers and feels cold. “Alpha-Daddy. If we had to do that, he’d wait for us.”

He clings to that as his final life-line. That even if those unseen hands rip him away from his Alpha, his Alpha will wait. That no matter what happens in the years until Mary is grown, Cas will want him back.

Dean’s stomach turns at the thought of being wrong about that. At the thought of spending almost two decades under the rule of an Alpha of whom he knows nothing but the dry facts printed on the small stack of papers Charlie gave him, just to be turned away when finally being able to come back home.

At being told that his other children have a new parent, his mate a new spouse. That they don’t remember him and he’s not welcome anymore.

He lays a hand on his stomach where the twins are kicking again. He doesn’t think it would happen.

But two decades is a long time. They _wouldn’t_ remember him. Neither Deanie nor Rob and Ben. Unless Alpha Mullen allows him contact. But why would he do that? If he wants Mary as his own, he cannot let her have a relationship with her Alpha-Dad. So if Dean wants to stay with her, that would no doubt be the condition. And it’s not like the Alpha couldn’t demand whatever the fuck he wants. At that point, Dean would beg him to let him stay. He’d not have conditions for himself.

They just can’t let it come that far. They have to stop Michael’s plans before they can come to fruition. It’s the only way.

He picks up the next piece of paper, the next few paragraphs of information about a Sire he never wanted to get to know. Who trades honey apparently because he’s a bee keeper. Who keeps out of trouble by minimizing contact with anyone.

It’s driving Charlie nuts, the lack of online information. Alpha Mullen doesn’t sell his produce online. He doesn’t even seem to have an email address, let alone a social network account of any type. What she’s found are all legal documents, the marriage license, his wife’s death certificate. The official documents for the dissolution of the Mullen pack. It’s hardly enough to fit together a personality profile. Apart from the label “lone wolf”, and they knew that before.

Maybe Dean should call Henriksen. His professor might be able to help. But then, Dean would have to explain. And no. Just no.

He puts the paper down and takes his phone instead. There’s everything on there, contacts, schedules, photos. His whole life pretty much.

It’s the first thing that would get taken away.

“Effie!” Mary crows and crawls towards him, making to climb up on the bed.

“Wait, let me help.” He puts the phone down and scoops her up. His daughter has an uncanny ability to notice when he’s got his phone in his hand.

“Effie!” Mary repeats and points towards the phone.

“Yeah, yeah, I know what you want.” Though he’s not going to forgive Gabe anytime soon that one of the first words his daughter knows is _selfie_.

Dean settles Mary into the crook of his arm. He turns the front camera on and Mary squeals when she sees herself on the screen. She’s figured that one out quick. Maybe it’s all that skypeing while they were gone. She’s got used to cameras.

“Okay, let’s see. Cheese!”

She giggles and he hits the shutter button.

“Want to make a silly face?” He pokes his tongue out at his daughter and she promptly imitates him.

They amuse themselves like this for another few minutes until the door opens.

“Hey, it’s Alpha-Daddy! Alpha-Daddy needs to make silly faces, too!”

“Apha Eddy, Apha Eddy!” Mary shouts and stretches her arms out towards Cas.

“What are you doing?” Cas asks and loosens the tie he was wearing before coming over and sitting down on the bed with them.

“Selfies, what else?” Dean grins. “Come on, you got be in a few of them, too.”

He pulls at Cas’ arm to get him to come closer and Mary excitedly helps.

Cas actually smiles under the onslaught and lets himself be dragged over until he has Mary on his lap and all their faces are squished together and visible on the tiny phone screen.

“On three. One, two, three!”

“Tickle attack!”

Cas starts tickling Mary’s sides the same second that Dean hits release, so the photo catches Mary mid-surprise and Cas mid-smirk. Mary starts giggling and squirming and Cas is focused on her and seems to have forgotten about the camera. Dean makes a few more pictures of that, of his mate and pup undisturbed.

Dean’s own face is the only one that’s solemn in the pictures. He tries to laugh, but the only thing he can think about is that he needs to ask Charlie to print these out for him. So that he can put them in his wallet as well and if worst comes to worst, he’ll at least have this. Have this memory of that they were happy once. Of that her Alpha-Dad loved their daughter. He’ll hide the photo if he has to. But he’s not giving it up.

 

He’s still thinking about that when he asks Charlie to print a few pictures for him the next day. It’s not only the selfies from the day before. It’s also the last few weeks of Deanie pictures.

He’s been neglecting Deanie’s book but now he’s going to make up for it.

He takes the stack of pictures to the nursery when the pups are doing their lunch-time nap. He lets Deanie sleep in the nursery with Mary when Sam is not around. It’s just easier. Also, Dean doesn’t feel like barging into Sam’s private space all the time. Eventually, Sam will have to agree to let them furnish a nursery for Deanie and that’ll get rid of that problem.

But for now, Sam wants Deanie close. And he doesn’t want to look at any of the furniture that he bought together with Jess, Dean thinks. Finds it easier to sleep in his old room with the old Novak furniture and forget about the neatly stowed contents of his own apartment.

But there are a few things that are more accessible than others. Sam might not want to look at them, but Dean knows where they are and this particular one is important.

He goes to the dresser in the corner of the nursery and takes out the photo book that Jess had so lovingly prepared. He has already filled the first dozen pages or so, has meticulously noted down Deanie’s birth date, size and weight and everything else important. Has made and printed at least one photo a week to show his progress.

There is a page dedicated to his family and Dean has put Sam and Jess on the left side, and himself and Cas with Mary, and Gabe and Bal on the right. He has written their names and a very short description underneath the photos. “This is your Omega-Uncle Gabriel. He has an endless candy supply.”

The only one he had trouble finding a description for is himself. So all it says under the photo is “I’m your Omega-Uncle Dean. Your parents named you after me.” Now he takes the pen and adds another few sentences to that. “I love you and your parents very much. I always will.”

It’s not a lot. But it’s better than nothing. Deanie won’t remember it maybe, but Sam will eventually discover the book and he’ll read it and he’ll know.

He sighs. There are more pictures of him and Mary in here than there are of Sam. It’s wrong somehow. There should be more pictures of the pup with his father than with what is basically his babysitter. But Sam, though he’s trying, is still not spending as much time with the pup as Dean. And whenever he is spending time with him, Dean doesn’t want to ruin it by making pictures.

He glues the new photos on the pages, labels them with their dates and adds a few little stories here and there. “We didn’t like our milk today. We’re a bit of a diva sometimes.” “Mary started crying after we poked her in the eye. We thought it hilarious.”

Dean looks over his work when he’s done. The book is up to date. Anything else has to be done after they’re back – or by someone else if things go wrong.

There is no reason to assume that things would go so terribly wrong that Dean won’t be back. There obviously isn’t. They’d never go in the first place if there was. And still, Dean’s never been a big fan of trusting his luck.

He grabs a piece of paper from Mary’s scribbling pad.

He takes a moment to think.

_Dear Sam._

It’s too formal, somehow, yet he doesn’t know anything else.

_I’ve done the first few months. I hope you’re okay with that. But Jess prepared this for Deanie and he deserves to have a memory of his first year._

_I haven’t found the chance to talk with you about this and it might be nothing, but please ask Pamela at Deanie’s next check-up to check his hearing. Sometimes I think he’s got problems with that._

_I intend to be back, Sam. I intend to take this letter out of the book when I’m back and for you to never read this. But in case that something unforeseen happens, I want to tell you: I’m proud of you. And I know you can do this. You will be a great dad and Deanie is going to be a great kid. He already is._

_Take care._

_Your brother,_

_Dean._

He looks over the words he’s written, shuddering a little with the thought of Sam actually reading them. But he folds the paper and tucks it between the pages of the book.

He has promised he wouldn’t trade his life.

He’s still pregnant with Cas’ twins who have never been part of any bargain and will always be Cas’.

And still.

It feels like writing this letter was a necessity.

 

“I’ve asked Balthazar and Gabriel to stay here while we’re gone.”

Dean looks up.

“I can’t leave the house unprotected. Not right now.”

“Sam’s here,” Dean answers dumbly.

“Sam’s in mourning.”

“You don’t trust him,” Dean accuses.

Cas doesn’t try to deny it. “You’re right. I don’t trust him with this. If something happens, if someone tries to take the pups – Dean, he’s too close to this.”

“Like Bal is not close to it! He’s the one who told us he’d love to steal our daughter, remember?” Dean’s laugh turns out slightly hysterical because holy hell, does everyone want to steal their daughter?

“And he’s going to do everything in his power to protect her,” Cas says with emphasis. “Sam and Ellen will handle the legal side. Balthazar and Jody the physical protection.” The tone allows no argument.

It sobers Dean up. “And you and me?”

“Will have each other’s back.”

“You trust me with that?” Dean asks and lays a hand over his swollen belly. He’s not much help these days and he knows it.

“You’ve explained it to me, haven’t you? That talking is our best chance.” His forehead draws together in a frown. “I’m going to bring you back, Dean.”

“What?” Dean asks flabbergasted.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed what you’re doing. You’re preparing yourself. And us. I’m telling you, you don’t need to. Because I’m not leaving you behind.”

There is a fierce growl in his voice and if Dean didn’t know his mate as well as he does he’d think that this might be a good time to cower to the ground. As it is, he even manages a weak smile. “I _want_ you to bring me back home, Alpha. Don’t you ever doubt that.”

The tension in Cas lessens a bit, but not by much. He hears what Dean is not saying with his words. That Dean doesn’t always get what he wants.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Cas. You know that, right?”

The tension is back full force. “No. I won’t let you. You don’t get to say good-bye. This is your plan and it’ll work. So we’re having this conversation when we’re back.”

And no one ever say that Cas doesn’t match Dean’s stubbornness. Dean smiles. “Alright, Alpha. That’s what we’ll do.”

 

They start out two days later. They take Cas’ Hybrid because it’s clear that on this trip, Cas will be driving. And also, the Impala is a lot of things but inconspicuous she is not.

Mary didn’t cry when they said goodbye. She had her arms slung around Uncle Balthazar’s neck, her head tilted to the side in an impression of her father, and she hadn’t cried.

It’s Dean who’s been fighting tears for the whole time they’ve been driving. He resists the urge to keep turning around, to keep checking back for his home, the last glance of which has long since been lost in the distance.

“We don’t have to do this,” Cas says quietly.

“No, we do,” Dean answers and keeps looking at his hands in his lap.

There’s a stack of papers in the bag at his feet, a whole folder full of emergency information and numbers to call from Pamela, who almost went with them, the trip worried her so much.

_You’re too far along. Wait until after they’re born._

But who says it’s not going to be too late by then? Everyone agreed that their best chance is to convince the Alpha before this ever goes to court.

Also, Dean thinks, Cas actually sees the pups in Dean as a sort of insurance. He knows Dean would trade his life against his daughter’s. But he won’t trade his unborn pups’ lives. So going now assures that Dean won’t do anything rash.

Not that anything is really up to him, no matter how much leeway Cas gives him on this. He’s still Cas’. Instead of conjuring up a rush of outrage at the state of the world, the thought sparks a wave of warmth in his gut. Among the things that are wrong with the world, this one he’s okay with.

He puts a hand on Cas’ knee, tangles his fingers in Cas’ dress pants. Cas quickly brushes his fingers over Dean’s before putting both of his hands back on the steering wheel like the safe driver he is.

 

They check into a motel in the town next to the lone wolf’s house. The manager eyes them curiously but averts his eyes quickly enough when Cas bares his teeth after he’s looked at Dean a little too long.

Dean brushes his hand down Cas’ side as soon as they’re out of sight. “I’m on edge, too, Cas. But it’s not that guy’s fault.”

Cas nods jerkily.

They go back out and bring their overnight bags in. Or rather, Cas brings them in and Dean accompanies him. It’s not much. Travelling without Mary cuts their luggage more than in half.

Dean lays down on the lumpy motel bed, relieved sigh escaping when he can stretch out his back. He’d been so worried about being basically chained to his bed for the final two months of the pregnancy but now he thinks that that would really not have the worst thing that could have happened.

Before he can get too comfortable on the uncomfortable bed, he turns towards Cas who is being practical as usual and hangs up the second suit he brought. “So how do you want to play this? Go out and talk to a few locals first? Or immediately go see the guy?”

They should probably have talked about this earlier, should have made more detailed plans. All they have are a few legal documents that Ellen and Sam have drawn up that pretty much say that Cain Mullen relinquishes any rights to Dean or Dean’s pups regardless of whether he actually has any rights to them or not. They just have no idea how to get to a point where the Alpha would actually be willing to sign them.

“You should rest for a while,” Cas evades the question.

“You’re not actually contemplating leaving me alone, are you?” Dean asks somewhat shocked. The thought that Cas might want to go interview locals on his own had not even occurred to him.

Cas pauses in his movement and turns to observe Dean carefully. “Because you think my instincts won’t allow me or because you don’t want to be left alone?”

“Umm, both?” Dean blurts out. But it’s true, he doesn’t necessarily want to be left behind in this motel room. “I mean, if that’s what you want, then…”

“Dean,” Cas is by his side in an instant. “It’s not what I want.”

“Phew, good,” Dean smiles at his mate and pulls him down towards himself.

There’s no resistance, so Dean wraps his arms around Cas’ neck and draws him in for a kiss. It’s languid and slow, tasting faintly of the granola bars they’ve snacked on, and Dean lets his tongue snake into Cas’ mouth, taking tiny kitten licks that have Cas grumble something between amusement and a reprimand. Dean smiles against his mouth and lets his own lips fall pliant so that Cas can turn the tables on him.

He doesn’t have to be asked twice and swipes his tongue into Dean’s mouth. Dean pushes his hands into Cas’ hair, egging him on until Cas drapes himself over Dean as much as possible, pushing his shoulders into the mattress with his weight, pinning him right where he wants him.  

For the first time in what feels like forever, Dean relaxes. He opens up willingly and when Cas pushes at his head, he tilts it back and to the side, relishing the shiver that runs over him when Cas finds the mating bite.

“Do it, Cas. Please. I want it,” Dean begs and Cas’ teeth clamp down over the mark.

There’s a short jolt of pain that makes Dean cry out even while his body searches out his mate.

“God, I wish we could.” Cas is hiding his face against Dean’s neck, breathing harsh and fast, obviously trying to get himself back under control.

That won’t do if Dean has any say in it. So instead of letting Cas hide, Dean uses the freedom Cas’ concentration on himself gives him and turns enough that he can slide one of his legs between Cas’ even while he brings up his hand to hold Cas in place. The only spot he can really reach with his mouth is Cas’ shoulder, so he bites into the meat there. Cas is still wearing his shirt, so he doesn’t have to worry about breaking skin. He anticipates the moment of shock from Cas and before Cas can really react he rolls his hips enough that with their legs tangled, there’s friction. A small moan escapes Cas but Dean thinks, he still fights with himself to draw away, to not let his instincts get the better of him.

“Come on, Cas. I know we can’t go all the way. Doesn’t mean I can’t get you off.”

It elicits a mewl and Cas still has his eyes screwed shut, but he lets a harsh breath escape, and he’s not drawing back anymore, so Dean guesses he’s on board and lets go off Cas’ shoulder to slide his hand down Cas’ side. He palms over the front of his pants for a moment before fumbling with his fly.

Dean chuckles lowly at the image they must be giving, rutting against each other mostly clothed, desperate like teenagers. But the sigh of relief when he frees Cas from the tight fit of his pants is worth it.

“Yeah, that’s it. Come on, Cas, help me with this. Use me so that it feels good for you,” Dean spurs him on. It’s too dry, only his hand, but Cas doesn’t seem to care, rutting into him with abandon, his mouth having fallen open to allow breathless little gasps to spill out of him.

Dean is peppering his mate’s shoulder and neck with kisses now. He can’t keep much of a rhythm up himself, can’t do more than provide a body for his mate to rub against, but it’s good enough for him.

“Such a gorgeous Alpha. The best mate anyone could wish for. Gives me everything I could ever ask. Loves me so much.”

Cas nods against his skin, soaks up every word Dean’s saying even while his movements get faster and then more erratic.

“All mine. My Alpha. My mate.”

Cas whines and stills, breathing stopping for a second before he pants through his release. Dean wraps his hand tighter around the base of Cas’ cock, provides some resistance for his knot to swell against. It’s not the same as the actual thing, but he can feel sympathetic tingles up his spine, the feeling of being knotted together one of his favorite things in the world.

“That’s it, Cas. All yours now. Always all yours.”

Cas paws at him, tries to draw him even closer though it’s impossible in their current position. So he settles for peppering kisses on Dean’s skin wherever he can reach before finally succumbing to his exhaustion and starting to snore.

Dean chuckles at that but really, a nap sounds like a great idea. They’ll deal with the mess later.

 

He wakes up when Cas is stirring. Immediately, Dean’s face scrunches up. “Yuck.” His pants are soaked through where the wet spot is slowly drying.

Cas looks adorably confused when he squints at him.

“Your fault, Alpha, so don’t squint at me,” Dean says good-naturedly before rolling his sluggish body over to get out of bed and out of these pants. He looks down at them. The stain is quite prominent. Dean chuckles and looks at Cas mischievously. “So, are you happy or sad that I brought a change of clothes and won’t be wearing these jeans tomorrow?”

It takes a moment for the implications of that joke to sink in and then, being the respectable pack-Alpha that he is, Cas sticks his tongue out at him.

Dean laughs out loud at that. “You’re adorable, little Alpha. And you’ve marked me yours in every way that is possible anyway.” He leans back in to capture Cas’ lips for a quick kiss before pulling away. “So I think I want dry pants now.”

Cas grunts assent and gets up from the bed, too, to look through the flyers to see whether they can get some food delivered to their room. They can and so they end up eating Asian while being cuddled up on the bed and watching some old soap opera.

It’s all Dean wants.

 

The next morning, whatever relaxation they had found has tapered off.

“Makes no sense to wait,” Dean says. “He’s lone wolf. Whatever Charlie hasn’t found out, people here won’t tell us, either. Do you want breakfast?” Cause Dean himself can’t eat for the life of him.

“Coffee,” Cas answers.

“Yeah, coffee is good I guess.” Though Dean doesn’t feel any pull towards it. He’s nervous enough and seeing how long he hasn’t had any of the stuff, all it would do is upset his stomach.

So they brew a cup of the horrible instant coffee the motel room provides for Cas and Dean gets some hot water for his tea. And because he almost hears Pam’s stern voice scolding him about the importance of regular meals, he digs one of the healthy granola bars out of his backpack and nibbles his way through it. It does nothing to make him feel better.

There isn’t much to say so they don’t. Their morning routines have been synchronized for so long that they move effortlessly around each other, even though Dean feels the absence of his daughter acutely. He rarely makes it past brushing his teeth before she wakes up after all.

Dean kind of wants to check up on her but he also kind of doesn’t want to talk to anyone before they haven’t done what they came here to do and he can give them some results, whatever they’re going to be.

He has fiddled with his phone undecidedly for a good five minutes when it vibrates and relieves him of the need to make a decision.

 It’s a message from Gabe and has a picture attached.

_Candy man: Thought you wanted to know._

Dean clicks on the picture. It shows a disgruntled Balthazar, splatters of baby food all over his face while Mary is holding up her spoon in triumph.

Dean involuntarily chuckles. He turns the phone so that Cas can see the picture. “I think he gave her the spoon. Shoulda have warned him.”

Something harsh flickers over Cas’ face for a second before he catches himself and smiles. “No, it’s fine that you didn’t warn him. Fits him well.”

Dean rolls his eyes fondly. “Jealous of the babysitter, Cas? Really?”

Cas huffs but the tips of his ears turn pink. “It’s Balthazar,” he complains.

“And our daughter looks happy – well, smug, actually, and that’s the main point,” Dean argues.

“Yeah, yeah,” Cas grumbles. Then his voice turns anxious. “Are you sure what we’re doing is a good idea?”

“We’ll have to do it to find out,” Dean shrugs, though it sounds more nonchalant than he feels.

“We could always keep her safe in our house. No one is going to get in and just steal her.”

“And keep her locked in the house forever? Cas, you don’t mean that.”

Cas deflates. “No. No, I wouldn’t be able to do that to her. This is the better way.”

It’s the same conclusion they’ve come to again and again, but it’s even less reassuring now that they’re about to actually do what has to be done.

 

The voice of their GPS is the only thing breaking the silence on the way to Alpha Mullen’s house. It’s out in the middle of nowhere, endless rows of trees broken by overgrown meadows. Cas keeps checking the map their navigation system shows but this is the right way.

The street turns into a dirt road and then into something that might be a long drive way. There are beehives to the left and right of the road, the first sign of human life in a while.

Finally, a house comes into view. It’s non-descript, an old farmhouse like many others. It’s in better repair than what they’ve seen along the road, though. The paint isn’t peeling off and while it looks lonesome, it looks inhabited.

Cas checks his cellphone. “I have reception,” he sighs relieved. Then he hits speed dial. After a moment, someone picks up on the other end of the line. “Jody? Hi. We’re at Alpha Mullen’s house now. I’ll check back in with you within the next two hours. If I don’t, please contact the local authorities.”

Dean can’t understand what Jody is saying. Dean would bet she’s bitching Cas out once again for not taking backup with them. She was against this part of the plan from the beginning. But going in guns blazing is not what they want. Spooking a lone wolf into violence is not the plan. And lone wolves are notoriously twitchy, seeing how they get bitten away from society.

Cas nods placatingly at his phone, repeats, “I’ll call you back,” and hangs up. Then he turns back to Dean. “I’m not letting you go in alone.”

“I know,” Dean nods, and frankly, he doesn’t want to go in on his own anyway. “But let me do the talking?”

Cas nods tightly and unhappily.

“Okay,” Dean takes a deep breath and starts out.

It’s weird, being the one to lead. He’s so used to Cas’ form in front of him. Instead, he presents a broad target now as he makes his way up the barren entryway. There are bee hives on both sides of the path here, too. The low buzzing of their inhabitants is the most prominent sign of life.

The house is old, but solid. From close up, it’s even more visible that it’s well-kept. It relieves Dean a little bit. Someone who keeps their porch clean still hangs on to some semblance of normal life. There is no name on the door, no post box and no bell. The lone wolf doesn’t like people, the info from Charlie said. Cain Mullen wants to be left alone. So people leave him alone.

Dean knocks.

No one answers.

He knocks again.

Still nothing.

He tries the door. Unlocked.

He turns around to Cas who has stayed at the bottom of the few stairs to the porch.

He doesn’t need to say it, Cas knows that he’s going to see this through one way or another.

“Be careful,” Cas asks.

Dean nods. Then he pushes the door open and goes in.

It smells musty. Like it hasn’t been aired out in too long and like everything needs to be dusted. But apart from that it’s clean. All the smells that Dean knows from his Dad’s place, old food, garbage that wasn’t taken out, alcohol, they are absent.

What is there though is the smell of Alpha. Icy and clean, like a stream in the mountains. Harsh like it, too. This Alpha has no soft edges. The scent gets stronger when Dean enters the living room. There’s an armchair whose leather is shiny and clean. He’s sitting here often, Dean guesses, while the couch never gets used.

Dean lets his fingers trail over the leather, trying to decipher the layers of the Alpha’s scent to get a better grip on him before he actually encounters him.

The Alpha’s scent is overlaid with a heavy layer of ivy, wrapping around it, clinging to it from all sides, in places burying it underneath. It’s grief, Dean thinks. Grief and something heavier. A smell like metal and blood. Guilt. It doesn’t bode well.

He turns to the kitchen, locking eyes with Cas only briefly before letting his nose guide him to where the scent is strongest.

He is sitting in one of the kitchen chairs, taking his eyes from where he’s peeling corn for only a second at the entry of the unbidden visitor, before continuing as if Dean’s not even there. Or as if he can will him away by ignoring him.

Which is better than an immediate attack, Dean guesses.

So he stays still and takes a moment to study the Alpha. His hair is long and grey, but it looks groomed. The same goes for his beard. His clothes are plain. Sturdy materials, made to last. His scent has shifted very little at the intrusion, like he doesn’t feel the need to tense even when as a lone wolf he should.

But then, Dean’s an Omega. Pregnant at that. He’s hardly a threat. And his mate is keeping his promise and lingering behind. Still, Dean’s own heartrate is surprisingly calm as well. There’s something about the Alpha that makes him think he won’t attack. He can’t put his finger on it. But there’s something serene about him, blood, ivy and all. Something much more collected and less of a loose cannon than his Dad ever was.

“My name is Dean Novak,” Dean starts out. “I was born Dean Winchester. My mother’s name was Mary. She was born a Campbell.”

The hands on the corn falter, pausing before ripping the husk off with too much force. But the Alpha’s eyes stay on his work, don’t look up to Dean.

Dean’s voice is softer when he continues. “She died when I was four years old. I grew up thinking the man who raised me was my Sire. Turns out that that was a lie.”

“Why are you here?” The Alpha shoots him a short look before attacking the next corn stalk with a vengeance.

“Because of this,” Dean takes a small bundle of documents out of his pocket. On top of it is a single photo. The photo is a gamble. But it’s one that he’s got to take.

He goes to the far end of the table and lets it drop there, slides it towards the middle of the table before retreating a few steps. “This is a copy of the law that we think you’ll use to try to take our daughter from us. She’s a bit over a year old now. She’s got my mom’s hair, but she got her Alpha-Dad’s temper.”

The Alpha doesn’t get up and he doesn’t bring the documents closer to himself. But he looks at the picture, eyes hard. Finally, he straightens up. “What do you want?”

They lock eyes over the table. The Alpha’s eyes are sharp, their light blue a fit with the icy waters of his scent. Dean wonders vaguely where his own green eyes come from, which family side is responsible for that.

But the Alpha has pushed the corn aside and is waiting for an answer. So Dean shakes himself out of his musings and says, “To find a different way. An offer other than my daughter that will compensate your pain.”

The Alpha’s eyebrows rise. “What are you going to offer? Yourself?”

The change in the atmosphere is immediate and Dean has to resist turning to Cas to calm the growl from the doorway. Instead, he very calmly says, “I can’t, Alpha. My life belongs to my mate.”

“And yet he doesn’t speak for you,” the Alpha observes, and if Dean wasn’t so used to reading subtle changes in scent he’d miss the note of curiosity that’s entered the Alpha’s scent, pushing the layer of ivy to the side for now.

“He can if that’s your wish. I’d understand. My – my Dad would have done the same thing,” Dean shrugs against the hurt.

“John Winchester,” the Alpha answers, no discernable emotion in his voice.

“Yes,” Dean nods, “John Winchester.” He doubts that he can keep his own voice and scent as clean at the mention of the name.

“I have no wish to speak to your Alpha,” Alpha Mullen answers. “I wish he hadn’t come in here. It takes an eternity for Alpha scent to dissipate.”

“He’s my mate,” Dean says simply. “He wouldn’t let me go into danger on my own.”

The Alpha watches Dean through narrowed eyes. “Am I a danger to you, Omega?”

“I don’t know, Alpha,” Dean answers a little hoarsely. This has gone better than he’s thought so far. Truth is, the people make lone wolves seem volatile and violent, but Dean only gets weariness from the man at the table. And he’s tolerating the strange Alpha in his home well enough. “My children need me, Alpha. The one that is just starting to walk and the ones that will be born soon. I couldn’t risk coming here alone for their sake.”

The Alpha looks wistful for a moment and then nods, like he understands the concept at least.

Dean goes a hesitant step closer, making his voice lower than it had been. “Why do you want to take my daughter away from me, Alpha?”

He can hear the surprised grumble from Cas at the question, but Dean thinks it’s best to cut to the chase.

“I do not think that my mother hated you. Or that you hated her. Why would you want to do this to me?”

“He looks like the smarmy guy. Your mate. He is his blood.”

That’s not an answer to Dean’s question at all. “Cas is Michael’s brother, yes,” he answers somewhat confused.

“I don’t like the smarmy guy.”

Well, there is one thing that they agree on then. “And yet he is your lawyer.”

“Sometimes the devil’s help can be accepted if it saves the life of someone pure.”

And that leaves Dean even more confused. “I do not understand, Alpha.”

“They share blood, your mate and him,” the Alpha says darkly.

“There’s very little else they share,” Dean replies.

The Alpha looks pensive for a moment, observing both Dean and Cas intently. “They share a habit of encroaching on my territory without invitation.” His eyes narrow. “Maybe they also share a habit of telling stories to sway me to their side, with little regard to the truth.”

Dean frowns. “My little girl is not a story.”

The Alpha’s eyes are drawn to the photo again at the words. It’s from Christmas. Mary is half hugging her enormous teddy bear, half hugging Cas, her arms too short to do both, but her stubbornness clearly challenging her to try. She has a concentrated frown on her face, while Dean can’t keep his grin at the display at bay and is about 30 seconds from breaking into a full body laugh.

“She’s just starting to walk,” Dean repeats, “and she knows quite a few words already. She knows who ‘Apha Eddy’ is, and ‘Dee-ee’, that’s Deanie, her cousin.”

“And you?”

“I’m just ‘Dada’.” He inches another step closer to the Alpha. “Please, Alpha. Tell me what I can do.”

The Alpha looks at him quietly. Then he says, “You can start by sending him out so that he doesn’t smell my house up anymore,” with a nod towards Cas.

“Not a chance,” Cas growls.

The Alpha leans back in his chair, unperturbed by Cas’ display of aggression and folds his arms over his chest. “Then I can’t help you.”

Dean watches the Alpha attentively. He’s still not coming over as overtly aggressive. He’s very sure of his own powers, but in a way that’s not that different from Cas. Like he’s at peace with himself and whatever they do or say to him, it’s not going to breach more than the surface.

And here’s another thing. Dean’s not scared. The same way he’s not scared with Cas. This Alpha won’t hurt him. He’s sure of it.

“Cas, it’s okay,” Dean turns half around to his mate, “you wanted to call Jody back anyway. You can call her from the porch.”

“Dean, no!” Cas shakes his head. “I’m not leaving you.”

“No,” Dean smiles and goes the few steps back to Cas to take his hand, “you’re not leaving me. You’d never leave me. I know it. You’ll just be outside. I can handle this. Alpha Mullen is not going to hurt me.”

“Dean,” Cas is speechless.

“Please, Cas. 10 minutes. Give us that.”

Cas is not happy. He is anything but happy. His lips are a tight white line when he asks, “You have your phone?”

Dean nods.

“You’ve got it on?”

“Yes.”

“Can you put me on speed dial so that it’s just one button to press for you to reach me?”

“Of course. “ Dean takes out his phone and opens the dial window. Cas’ contact is the one that’s on top of the speed dial list anyway. “Like this?” He holds the phone up for Cas to see.

“Please make sure you’re safe,” Cas pleads with him.

Dean rubs his hand down Cas’ arm once. He’d love to kiss him but in the Alpha’s house, he doesn’t dare. “I’ll keep the phone in my hand, okay?”

“Okay,” Cas nods. He squeezes Dean’s hand tight before ripping himself away and turning on his heel without looking back.

Dean looks after him until he hears the front door close behind his mate.

“I expected him to threaten me,” the Alpha says.

“Would it have been necessary to threaten you?” Dean asks and turns back to the Alpha, who shrugs. “See,” Dean says and shrugs as well.

The Alpha lets the silence drag on after that, observing Dean intently.

Dean gets uncomfortable after a little while, though it’s more his pregnant belly than the Alpha’s stare. There’s a sharp twinge in his stomach that turns into a rolling of wave of pain down his torso, and he tries to keep his frustrated groan in, even though his face scrunches up before he can smooth it out again.

“Can I sit, Alpha?” he asks. “The pups don’t like it when I stay on my feet for this long.”

The Alpha watches him for another long moment, then he nods abruptly.

Dean smiles gratefully and draws out the chair closest to the Alpha to sit. Until he notices the Alpha’s sudden confusion, that is. He stops. “Is this okay?” he asks. He’s got no idea after all, how old-fashioned this Alpha is. Just cause he’s been talking to him and seemed to take his words seriously enough does not mean he allows Omegas to sit on the same level as him in his house. “I’m used to having a chair at the table like everyone else. But if that’s not your way, I’ll abide by your rules.” Though Dean hopes to God that the Alpha doesn’t make him kneel on the floor. He’s got no idea how to get up from there again.

“Sit wherever you want,” the Alpha says gruffly and picks up his corn again.

He’s ruffled for the first time in their whole encounter. “It’s because I took the chair next to you,” he figures out. “You didn’t expect that.”

“I’m lone wolf,” the Alpha bellows like that is an explanation.

“You’re not going to hurt me,” Dean says, certainty still the same. He sighs a small sigh of relief when he finally sits, though he keeps massaging his sides with his hands. There is an uncomfortable tension in his belly. He should have asked whether he can sit earlier.

“How do you know that?” The Alpha asks.

Dean shrugs. “Just know it. Knew it with him, too.” He gestures vaguely in the direction where Cas is. “It’s been a few years. And it still holds true.”

“He’s not here,” Alpha Mullen replies. “And I’m not going to talk to him. You don’t have to keep that up.”

Dean raises his eyebrows. “Is that what he told you? Michael, I mean. That Cas’ been bad to Mary and me? Cause if he did that’s bullshit.”

The Alpha doesn’t agree to or reject that.

“Want to see a few more pictures of her? I’ve got more.” Dean wiggles his phone a bit.

“Aren’t you supposed not to let go of that?”

“And I won’t, will I?” Though Cas would probably have something to say about bringing the phone into the range of the Alpha’s hands. But hey, risks have to be taken.

Dean opens his picture gallery and then brings the chair closer to the table. There is another stab of pain. He breathes through it and finally it ebbs away. Dean tries to figure out whether it was worse than the last one and decides that no, actually, it was not as bad.

He holds the phone out towards the Alpha and beckons him closer.

“This was taken yesterday during her bedtime story…” He goes through the photos, one by one. There are random ones in there, of a cat they saw on one of their walks, of the Impala. But most everything is the kids or the kids with Cas or Sam or Bal and Gabe. Mostly the kids. They grow so fast and Dean doesn’t want to miss a single thing.

He tries to tone it down, knows that his pride about every small accomplishment he can report that the pups have made shines through loud and clear. But he can’t help it, even when he knows that every parent thinks the same way, that everyone sees their own kid as the smartest and most loveable, for him, it’s still his daughter who is the most clever toddler in the world. And Deanie… “Deanie copes so well. He’s been through so much already. With his Mom dead and his Dad in mourning…” Dean breaks off because as usual, saying it like this, the jump from Jess to Mary isn’t all that far. And the Alpha’s mate is dead as well. Dean has seen the pain that gets caused by that and he can’t let it slide without acknowledging it. “I’m sorry, Alpha. I know you’ve lost your mate, too. I can’t even imagine the pain. I wish you hadn’t had to go through it.”

“My name’s Cain,” the Alpha growls.

Dean looks up at him surprised. There’s a grim line around the Alpha’s mouth, but the growl seems to have been no more than emphasis. The Alpha keeps his eyes on Dean until Dean nods. “Cain it is,” he says.  

Cain nods back, then points to the picture of Dean and Deanie on the screen. “He is another Alpha’s kid, yet he lives with you and you talk about him like he’s your pup,” he states.

“Yeah?” Dean asks a bit confused. “He’s my brother’s kid. So of course I love him as much as if he was my own.”

“And him?” Cain nods in the direction of the porch.

“Cas? He loves him, too, obviously.”

The Alpha’s eyebrows rise. “You’ve got a daughter to care for and you’re pregnant enough that you can’t even stand for more than a few minutes and he lets you take time out of your day to care for another Alpha’s pup?”

“I’m not neglecting Mary!” Dean bristles at the assumption. “Seriously, man, I don’t know how you handled things in your pack, but in our pack, people support each other. We make sure that both pups are happy and healthy.”

The mention of Cain’s pack hangs heavy between them, but the Alpha shakes it off. “Isn’t he scared that someone’s going to do to him what he did to his brother?”

“Beg your pardon?”

“His Omega is raising another Alpha’s child. Is he not scared that they will usurp his power?”

That’s so ridiculous that Dean has to stifle a laugh. “Seriously? I’ve got no idea what Michael’s told you but I’m pretty sure it looks different from where Cas and I stand.”

Cain’s eyebrows are drawn together in a hard line. “So it is false that your mate has usurped Michael’s power and has banned him from his pack?”

That sobers Dean up. “No, that part is true. But it’s the pack that asked him to do it.”

The Alpha doesn’t answer and for the first time Dean thinks about what has happened with Cain’s pack. Someone has to have stolen his power. He identifies with Michael more than with Cas.

“Did you love your pack, Alpha?” Dean asks.

There is an impatient growl in the Alpha’s voice when he answers, “Yes.”

“And did they love you?”

The Alpha’s eyes turn harsh and Dean turns his palms outward, tilts his head to bare his throat. He didn’t mean to offend. Just to find out.

“They were my wife’s pack, Omega, not mine, even though I was their Alpha.”

“How come?” Dean asks, because from all he knows Cain was a powerful Alpha when he’d met Mary.

“Because I slew my brother so my pack wouldn’t have me any longer.”

That’s information that the documents Charlie found did not include.

“Are you scared now that you know you wouldn’t be the first family I’ve killed?” The Alpha asks.

A shiver runs down Dean’s spine, prompted by the thought of Sam dead, of his brother slain by his own hand. He shakes it off. Looks at the table instead. At the phone that Dean was supposed to keep in hand in case Cain tried anything weird and that is now closer to Cain’s reach than Dean’s. Still. “Why would you kill me? I’m no threat to you.”

“Neither was he,” Cain answers.

“Are you trying to scare me, Alpha?”

There is no answer to that. He might be, or maybe this is the Alpha’s version of going to a confessional.

Either way, Dean wants to steer the conversation to safer topics than this. “What about your mate? How did you get to be the Alpha of her pack?” he asks.

“She saw me. She loved me. She took me in,” Cain shrugs. “It was happenstance that she was the only child to the pack-Alpha.”

“The only child to the pack-Alpha, but not Alpha herself,” Dean understands.

“No, she wasn’t Alpha. I took her name and her home became my home.”

“You loved her.” It’s not a question.

“With all my heart. But when she died…” The Alpha looks away. Collects himself again. “It was her, they loved. Not me. When she died, it didn’t take long. What with my story. There is murder on my conscience, Omega. You don’t want to be near me. No one does.”

“I’d be ready to let you see her. To let her get to know her grandfather. I’d – I’d be ready to get to know you as well if that is something you wanted,” Dean says and finds to his own surprise that the words are true.

“Why?” Cain asks.

But Dean doesn’t get to answer because the pain that has been plaguing him comes back. It’s stronger this time, a long wave moving down his core. He doubles over in his chair, vision whitening out for a heartbeat.

Then there is the sensation of warm wetness between his legs.

He forces his eyes open, forces himself to touch the liquid. His hands come away clear.

It doesn’t do much to alleviate the sudden panic but it helps enough that he can get a few words out. “Cas. Call him.”

The Alpha grabs Dean’s phone, his scent spiking in the presence of Omega fear and pain.

“You have to come in,” Cain says and that’s all he says.

There are feet pounding down the hallway, and then Cas’ scent envelops Dean.

“Water broke,” Dean informs him, voice shaky.

Cas is on him immediately, checking the stain the same way Dean checked it. Breathing the same sigh of relief when there’s no blood.

“Are you in pain right now?” Cas asks.

“No,” Dean says though he’s still trembling. “No, it’s coming in waves. Started a while ago. Didn’t take it too seriously until – this.” He touches his pants that are cooling down and getting icky quickly.

“We need to get you into dry pants and then get you to the hospital,” Cas looks up at Cain. “Which is the closest hospital that has a neonatal intensive care unit?”

Cain shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

“We have a list,” Cas says. “I need to get it. Dean, if there’s another contraction, I want you to breathe through it, okay? The way Pam taught you.”

“Yeah, okay,” Dean answers, though it comes out wobbly. He’s never actually had to do this, seeing that he blacked out almost immediately last time.

“You’re doing great. I’ll be right back.” Cas kisses him on the forehead and then he runs off towards the car.

“Sorry about the mess,” Dean says to Cain, because there’s a puddle underneath his chair now. At least the floors are hardwoods. It won’t be too bad to clean this up. Though the house will probably smell like him for quite a while.

“Don’t worry about it,” Cain grumbles. “Do you need something? Some water maybe?”

“My mate to come back,” Dean answers and grits his teeth when a new wave of pain hits him. These are not far apart. Shouldn’t they be further apart in the beginning? A wave of fear hits him that is almost stronger than the pain.

“Dean? Dean!” Cas’ voice makes it through. “Come on, we need to get you moving. Let’s get you into these and then go to the hospital, okay?”

Dean’s pair of sweat pants, the soft old ones he wears at night are lying on the table.

“Cain,” Dean grits out because like hell is he going to get half-naked around any Alpha but Cas.

“Is in the living room calling ahead to the hospital. He’s not coming back in unless we tell him to. Come on.”

Cas starts dragging Dean up and after a moment, Dean helps. He’s still unhappy when Cas fumbles with the buttons of his jeans, getting them open and sliding the pants down his hips. But Cas smells calm and determined. And that’s good enough for Dean. He remembers how Cas smelled last time. So the difference must mean that Dean isn’t dying. At least for now.

So he goes along, lets Cas’ hands guide him and waits for the next contraction to start. The spikes of fear are more regular than the contractions. Cas stops what he’s doing and kisses him every single time, until the fear recedes for another few minutes.

They make it through the clothes change and then out to the car. Dean gets deposited in the passenger seat, and then Cas is up and away. Dean keeps his eyes fastened to him where he’s talking with Cain outside. It’s brief, but it’s different than it had been. There’s a lot of nodding and then Cas is taking out his phone and punching a few numbers in. They’re exchanging phone numbers. Has Cain asked to be updated? Or did Cas offer?

It doesn’t matter, because now Cas is coming over to the car and sliding into the driver’s seat. “How are you doing?” He asks while revving the engine.

“I’m okay,” Dean says and then the next wave hits him.

“This is normal. Just breathe through it, Dean. It’ll be okay. And it’s not far to the hospital.”

The pain is strong but it’s duller somehow, not the sharp knife that it was last time, and that calms him down somewhat. Normal. This is normal. He clings to that.

Still, the way to the hospital seems long. Dean tries to read the street signs but he can’t concentrate, forgets the names of the towns the minute he’s read them.

He’s a bit out of it when they make it to the hospital. Cas is still keeping pretty calm, though, so that’s a good thing. Dean gets deposited in a wheel chair and gets brought to a room even while the next wave of pain crashes over him.

Then, finally, he’s in a bed, wearing a hospital gown, Cas sitting next to him, holding his hand. There are two young interns poking around his stomach, getting an ultrasound ready, and pretty much exposing him completely. Dean doesn’t like it so he turns his head away from the proceedings and looks at Cas instead.

Cas of course follows every move the doctors make with intense concentration. He doesn’t seem to find them objectionable because he keeps his quiet and doesn’t interfere.

“What are they doing?” Dean asks him. He’s sure the doctor who was here before has explained it but his brain is a bit preoccupied right now.

“Making sure that everything is proceeding normally. They want a warning the second something looks out of the ordinary. So I fear they’re going to keep this up for the next few hours.”

“Okay,” Dean agrees.

Cas’ scent changes to worried at Dean’s easy acceptance of being poked and prodded for hours while basically naked, but Dean’s ready to accept pretty much anything if in turn his pups are going to be healthy and his mate won’t have to live the scent of guilt and mourning that clings to both Sam and Cain.

“Did he say anything? About Mary?”

He doesn’t specify who, but he doesn’t need to, either. “We exchanged phone numbers. I promised to tell him how it went once the pups are born. He was worried about you.”

Dean smiles, though the smile is somewhat weak. “I think he’s a good guy. I’m not sure he knows it, though.”

After that, the minutes start bleeding together. The contractions come closer now, the pain intensifying with each of them. At some point, the doctor comes back and he gets a shot against the pain. He’s grateful for the dull in the spikes, but wishes it would do something to dull his ever growing fear as well.

It doesn’t, so he clings to Cas, who walks him through each of the contractions, breathing in sync with him and telling him he’s doing great, then wiping the sweat of Dean’s brow and kissing his head in the lulls between.

Time stretches into eternity, Dean’s body exhausted already before things have even really started. So it’s both a relief and a moment of panic when finally the doctor is back and tells him that it’s time now, that the twins are ready to come into this world.

He doesn’t let go of Cas’ hand on the way to the delivery room or in the delivery room for that matter. It’s the only thing that keeps him grounded. That keeps him able to focus enough on the doctors to do what they tell him. To push when they say it. To breathe when they say it.

Time flows into one big molasses of pain and commands and he can’t tell how long it’s been when suddenly there’s a piercing scream. He looks up from his trance to see that the nurse is holding a screaming pup. It struggles angrily against the nurse’s hold and against the sudden bright light and harsh environment.

“Dean,” the doctor calls his attention back to where she’s sitting, “I need you to concentrate for a little longer, okay? You’ve almost made it, but we gotta get Ben as well, okay?”

He nods and tries to focus and then they’re telling him to push again and she’s right, it doesn’t take that much more because it’s only a few pushes later that there’s a second scream.

“You did so well, you can relax now,” the doctor tells him and Cas hugs him and kisses him and there are tears running down Dean’s face as he tries to peek past Cas so that he doesn’t lose track of the pups. Of their pups, who are both living and breathing.

“We’re going check the pups and you, and get all of you cleaned up a little, and then you can hold them,” the doctor says gently.

Dean nods, words beyond him for the moment, he’s so exhausted. But his pups are alive and the world is good.

 

He must have fallen asleep at some point because when he wakes up he’s in a different room. His heart rate goes up for a moment, slight panic setting in, but then he remembers the warmth of his pups in his arms and he settles down again. They’re healthy. A little early, but healthy. That’s what the doctor had said. And himself? Dean looks around but there are no wires attached to him. No heart rate monitor. Not even a drip.

“Hey.”

And oh, that’s Cas.

“Hey Cas,” Dean smiles and tries to sit up. There’s a dull exhaustion in all of his bones and a definite spike of pain between his legs.

“It’s a hospital bed, it’s got buttons,” Cas smiles and puts the remote in Dean’s hand.

And okay, if Cas can be snarky, then things must be alright. Dean takes a moment to figure out the remote and bring the bed to an upright position. By the time he’s done, Cas is next to him, holding a glass of water in his hand. Dean takes it gratefully.

“They had to stitch you up some, so it’s going to be a bit uncomfortable for a while. But considering the circumstances, it all went very well,” Cas says and pushes a stray strand of hair out of Dean’s forehead.

“Are you upset with me?” Dean asks him.

“What?” Cas asks, clearly taken aback.

“Cause Cain.” Because it probably was all that exertion after all the time of rest that pushed him over the edge. He might have managed another few weeks if not for that.

Instead of answering, Cas urges Dean to scoot over so that he can wriggle himself into bed next to him. “About 75% of twins are born before 35 weeks.”

Which probably means that Cas thinks that maybe they would have made it a little longer without Dean’s insistence to go to Cain himself.

“Are they alright?” he asks.

“Yes,” Cas smiles and presses Dean closer. “They are tiny but they’re loud and they breathe on their own and the nurses are positive that they’ll be okay with being fed normally and don’t need a feeding tube. They’re fine, Dean.”

“Good. That’s good,” Dean slurs because the news are good and Cas doesn’t sound pissed, so that’s enough for him and he feels like he hasn’t slept in a week. He throws a hand over Cas and snuggles into his side. Then a thought rouses him enough to tilt his head up towards Cas once more. “Did you tell Cain? He should know. Ruined his kitchen. Tell him I’m sorry for that.”

Cas chuckles softly. “I’ll call him. I promise. Sleep, Dean. Rest. You’ve earned it.”

“Hmpf,” Dean mumbles and then snuggles back into Cas’ chest. Maybe he has, maybe he hasn’t. But he’s ready to sleep away the exhaustion and fear of the past few months and start on the next leg of their journey.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter was the hardest one to write so far. Because so much plot. It got rewritten quite a bit. There are a few original ideas that got thrown out, many of them more painful than what ended up in the story. Let me know what you think of my decisions and also about what you think will happen next!


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